Wasted Away MAG

April 13, 2008
By Loreena St Dennis SILVER, Andover, Minnesota
Loreena St Dennis SILVER, Andover, Minnesota
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

She’s never been this cold before.

Not the type of cold that aches in your feet and causes convulsions in your jaw; the type of cold that jams up your mind, like a song set on repeat with no power or volume dial to make it stop. Really cold.

She twists in her sheets, one hand making its way between the air particles. Her breath comes in a screaming whisper and words she’s never known trail along the tip of her tongue. The deep red of the muscle flexing beneath her ribs seeps in the edges of her vision, pushing away her thoughts as they transform into words.

She’s never been this alive before.

Months have dragged along, seeming so tedious and endless in the present tense, until they evaporate into the rest of yesterday. When her long-term memory compacts them, she can’t remember what she wore or said or how many things she ruined.

She only remembers how, after a while, all the food she wasn’t eating didn’t tempt her anymore. Her convex mirror distorts her hollow insides and blends the shadows under her ribcage.

The boy she wants with the murky eyes and the sharp jawline doesn’t utter a word, not counting the occasional, “Are you sick?” or “God, eat something.”

Before, they had had nights that lasted until sunrise over telephone wires. And she thought that he knew.

The love she kept for him, she thought he’d seen it coming and would take it. But his pockets were filled with the hands from a body wearing the perfume of money and perfection, and her own pockets were filled with the pressed pennies she collected at museums and carnivals – useless.

She’s never been this obstinate before.

It’s a commonly known fact that she’ll never reach perfection before the hospital doors, a fact that means nothing. Like the fact that smoking offers potential health risks such as lung cancer, that birth control has the risk of heart attack or stroke, that gum contains two calories that could be the deciding factor between a size 0 and a size 00.

It’s a fact that denies processing.

The foundation in her head will break soon, though, and she’ll fall through in a whispering scream until her arms are wound through with needles and wires, pumping artificial life into her.

She’s a lithium battery, ready to be recharged when all the energy is used up, until the socket in the wall sparks into white light, and the boy’s murky eyes become clear.



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This article has 24 comments.


on Mar. 7 2013 at 6:55 pm
thegreatmorry BRONZE, Holyoke, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 18 comments
did anyone elsethink this could be better presented as a poem, not the rhyming kind, I don't want it changed but not all poetry rhymes.

bluhs said...
on Jun. 29 2012 at 7:03 pm
bluhs, E, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 111 comments
That was so...WOW. Amazing, BRAVA, BRAVA!!!!!!!!!!!! So descriptive and full of feeling!

on Nov. 22 2011 at 11:11 pm
FatesMistake13, Springerville, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes." Oscar Wilde

"The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame."

Perfectly discret and beautifully written.

on Aug. 26 2011 at 9:59 am
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

That was very intense..and the vocab: impeccable. Like DreamingOutLoud said, you hardly said anything but made it into very much of something! Brava, brava<3

on May. 8 2011 at 9:47 pm
PoetLaureate07 PLATINUM, Aberdeen, Mississippi
32 articles 0 photos 246 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing..

i really love !!this

on May. 8 2011 at 6:59 pm
LeslieAnn BRONZE, Midvale, Utah
1 article 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\\\\\"Dream as if you\\\\\\\'ll live forever, Live as if you\\\\\\\'ll die today\\\\\\\" \\\\\\\"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain.\\\\\\\"

While stories about eating disorders may be common, this story sort of rises to a new level. Its not so blatant about the fact that she has an eating disorder. It takes more thought, and more thought was put into it than your run-of-the-mill ED story. Don't you think?

on Apr. 16 2011 at 9:09 am
rubyrainstorm SILVER, Closter, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 275 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
-Buddha.

I agree with DreamingOutLoud, your vocabulary was perfect. The words that were chosen fit like perfect puzzle pieces. Keep on writing, you're amazing at it. If you have time, please check out, comment, and rate my poem, The Girl Inside. Thanks!!! 8)

on Feb. 3 2011 at 10:01 pm
A_Jean PLATINUM, Citrus Heights, California
40 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"we all carry these things inside that no one else can see. they hold us down like anchors and they drown us out at sea."
"i'm trying to figure out which parts of my personality are mine and which ones I created to please you"

I agree about the parts about the boy not being too clear. I didn't understand where he fit into the story.

on Nov. 25 2010 at 12:34 pm
Chitra.I PLATINUM, Dubai, Other
44 articles 2 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything makes sense if you think too much about it.

Wow. You draw unique comparisons. Your vocabulary is top-notch. You said so much without actually saying anything. Just wow.

on Jul. 20 2010 at 6:55 pm
Hi-5_Girl BRONZE, Moosic, Pennsylvania
4 articles 3 photos 18 comments

I liked how this peice was written and the different emotions through-out, however the part about the boy is not so clear in some parts. All in all though, top notch!

~ The Hi-5 Girl


on Jun. 28 2010 at 2:33 pm
waiting_to_be_found GOLD, Conifer, Colorado
10 articles 1 photo 73 comments
Wow. That was wonderful. 

on Jun. 12 2010 at 1:25 pm
LeilaniLives PLATINUM, Fort Wayne, Indiana
42 articles 11 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They say 'Life's two steps forward and one step back' - But what if I tripped and fell down the whole flight of stairs?"

Well written. I liked all the different trains of emotions.

on Mar. 29 2010 at 4:32 pm
gkegrace BRONZE, Bowling Green, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 17 comments
how beautiful! the descriptions... and everything... i'm speechless. you have a wonderful control over language...wow.

on Jan. 25 2010 at 3:03 pm
greenwithvelvet SILVER, Fallon, Nevada
5 articles 0 photos 14 comments
This is great. You tell us so much about who the girl is without actually saying it. I get the feeling that she is pretty smart, for example. I want to read more of your stuff!

have_a_heart said...
on Nov. 28 2009 at 11:53 am
to say this was good, would be an understatement. The implications of her eating disorder kept the story interesting; better than just out right saying it. I think you described emotions so beautifully that it makes me feel them; understand them. That is a true talent that should not be wasted, please continue to write. :)

on Nov. 4 2009 at 11:21 am
WOW! Very Detailed story, i like the part where she describes the boys murky eyes.

Gloria619 said...
on Aug. 14 2009 at 7:40 pm
This was truly captivating.

on Aug. 5 2009 at 12:48 am
Simplygraceful GOLD, Omaha, Nebraska
12 articles 4 photos 12 comments
very good!!!words are so detailed...and fit so well w/ the story!

snc947 said...
on Aug. 4 2009 at 7:04 pm
oh my gosh. I absolutly love your story. It's so sad. I usually stay away from words pieced together like this but I think it's perfect and I find myself glad to have read it. KEEP WRITING!!! :) Peace.

Amanda BRONZE said...
on Aug. 4 2009 at 4:55 pm
Amanda BRONZE, Rehoboth, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space—were it not that I have bad dreams. {Hamlet}

I liked this, but teen angst ED stories are a bit ubiquitous...just a thought


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