“Run you idiot!” Such a harsh phrase but it was quite effective. See, at the time, my brother and I were in the process of egging someone’s house. While I was chucking eggs, my brother, Ernie, was watching the streets. Ernie and I were identical twins and when I say identical, I mean identical. We had the same hair color, the same color eyes, and we even had freckles in the same spots. My mom thought it would be funny to name us Bert and Ernie based off of the Sesame Street characters. But anyhow Ernie had seen a cop car and jolted leaving me all by myself with a half dozen eggs. In anything we did together, I was the brains he was the brawns, so when the cop car stopped me, I knew I could talk my way out of being in trouble. Before the police car pulled up by the house, I threw the eggs into a nearby bush. The cop got out of his vehicle and slowly approached me. “What are you doing out here boy,” he said with an “I’ve got you now” type of smirk. Quickly I told him that I was just coming outside to see what was happening to my house. He bought my lie and asked me if my parents were home. I told another lie telling him they were still working and wouldn’t be back until later tonight. “Ok, son, you take it easy now I’ll be back later tonight to discuss this with your parents.” Oh S@*t was my first thought. How was I going to get out of this one? I told the cop it wasn’t necessary to come by again. I thank him for his sincerity and told him this wasn’t the first time the house had been egged. Luckily, the cop left it alone after that and didn’t return. Once again, Bert saves the day!
March 2, 2012