I feel the cold air sharply bite my skin. I see the leaves slowly falling, becoming the most beautiful at the edge of their life, giving one last gift to the beauty of nature. I hear the cold wind blowing the dead leaves away from me, taking them away from my view, away, maybe to a better place. I realize that nature is giving me one final push before I join it in winter, before I, like nature, turn faded, and disappear into the bleak future.

I see you make your way through the dead leaves, not respecting the dead, as you come join me in the center of the field. I can smell the apple cinnamon cider you bring to me, as you come towards me for our meeting. I see you move your mouth, telling me I look beautiful.

I suddenly realize the difference between fall and me. Fall, after the dead winter, has a chance to start fresh in spring. I realize I don’t have that chance. Fall is coming to an end, and you and I know what that means. I faintly smile as you put your arm around me. You can’t talk, because we are both looking at the same thing: the last leaf of our tree. I see our names carved in the very top of the tree, for the remembrance of our love when it was young, before we got married.

I see the leaf fighting with the wind. I feel a small pain in my chest. It might just be my heart, knowing my time’s up. The leaf finally gives up to the wind. I shed one final tear as I feel my heart fail. I see the leaf slowly touch the ground. I feel the cold air sharply bite my skin, and slowly smile. You’re crying; I’m trying to not scream. I look around.

I see the trees around me, all dead, all bare. I hope that next spring’s beautiful. You bring me closer. You want me to stay, but I can’t.

With you by my side, I know I’m ready, ready to be blown away to a better place. I’m ready for winter to come, for a long hibernation.

I’m ready for a long sleep.

I’m ready.