Hi! I'm Soo Confused..I dunno what to do..I feel soo Lost..I'm Scared..Why do things happen that make you feel like this has already happened to you before and your minds yelling that its Not a good idea to go through This again.Why are things soo Complicated!? Why can't things be as Simple as 'This is Black' and 'This is White' Hell! I don't even Knoww What 'THIS' Is!? It feels like something I've already felt before but only this time it feels more 'Real' and not like I'm trying to Make this happen with All my heart as if my Life depended on it.Maybe This is how its supposed to feel..? This time its all Happening so Fast..Just Like That! without even trying.. I don't even Know whats happening to me! and I don't even think I would Notice, if I didn't Sit n Think about it for Hours and put all the Little Pieces together but even then all I get is a Blurry picture.I Really Can't understand People! If only i could Read their minds..Sigh! Life would be Soo much easier if everyone acted like an Open Book..Easy to Read.. Easy to Understand..Nothing to Hide..But in the end I guess we're all human and we all have Soo Much to hide that we just Cannot afford to be an Open Book lest someone read us. So, we put a lock on our hearts and hide the Key hoping that we ourselves might lose the key one day and so we're all Hiding from ourselves more than anyone else.But what if in our Lives we meet these people who seem like they have the key to those Closed Book part of ourselves.They might not be people we have anything in common with or hadn't even known for a few months but their Presence makes us feel like we've Found something..Found something we never knew we'd Lost..like we've Found Ourselves.Thay make us feel like you don't have to Hide from yourself.They're the people who make us stop for a second and say"Thank You God for sending this person into my life. Please don't take them away." These people might say things we don't always like to hear because they're things we don't like about ourselves or are ashamed to admit to ourselves, about ourselves.These people just say it like its Nothing and once its out there you feel like "There! See, no thing's happened.The world's not ended.I'm still here." Then we have no choice but to smile Like an idiot from ear to ear because up until then you were so scared if people would know about this. What would they say? You might be Judged..You might Judge yourself..You might not like what you see of yourself.. but now all that anxiety is Gone! And you have This person to Thank.That's when these people begin to mean so much to us.these people who, up until that moment were just people you talked to to kill time, became so important to you that, even a day or so of their Not being there, not being able to share you're thoughts, hear their thoughts and you feel Lost. You feel like you've lost something that but can't remember what. Now, its no use denying this feeling. Lying to yourselves that it doesn't make a difference if that person's there or not.But if you Stop hiding and just Admit it.S***! I Miss You!... OK.. I Feel Better... Much better..
5 Minutes in the Thoughts of a Teenager
January 17, 2012