its over whelming how quickly and drasticly my life changed from be a loved daughter to an orphan. oh how i hate the word orphan. it sends chills down my spine and i always nearly cry every tI'me i remember i am one. an orphan i have no real home. I'm supposed to stay at my brothers but who says that's gonna last. i have never met hI'm. hopefully he doesn't kick me out. there is no bone in my body that wants to stay at an orphanage with no hope of being adopted. the awkward conversation i had with my brother repeated in my head over and over again. hello ? he said trying to make this awkward conversation sound normal. my stomach turned and i suddenly felt sick. "is this braxton ?" i managed to ask. "yeah. who is this" he replied back in confusion. "my name is Lindsey" i said trying to think of how to break to hI'm. before i could finish he cut in "how can i help you Lindsey ?" his voice high as if he knew i was a kid. at least younger then hI'm. "i was told to contact you when my father died." i hit my head against the wall realised how crazy i sounded. he paused for a minute. "whats your fathers name ?" he replied. "harry storm. your father." i nervously said. i was waiting for hI'm to explode maybe even hang up. "why was i never told this ?" he asked. "i just found out myself..." i mummerd looking at the ground. "hows life been for you." he asked while trying to speak calmly. "okay i guess." i replied. "it feels like i just found another part of me." he said as i breathed heavily in the phone. i tried to smile, not that he could see it. i did it for myself. maybe i will have my life back.
January 25, 2012