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What's It's Like To Feel Loved...
The electricity between us, it was so palpable, you could feel the energy pulsing in the air. The night was cool, and the constant breeze did not help our situation. I shivered, partially from the night air, and partially from the anticipation that something, though I didn’t know what, was going to happen. My eyes scrutinized every detail of him, from his brown doe eyes behind black framed lenses, to his light brown, soft, windswept hair. I felt the warmth of his hand right above my knee, as if he’s placed it there accidentally, but strategically, because the effect of his touch sent chills up arm. I could hear the chatter of everyone over in the front of the building, but what the masses were talking about was indiscernible and inconsequential. It didn’t even reach my ears; I was wholly focused on the here and now. His scent, be it either his cologne or natural odor, was intoxicating, and made me feel lightheaded and it brought all my subconscious desires to cognizance.
“Can I try something?” he asked, leaning in toward me. I involuntary inclined forward to him.
“Yeah, sure, but - ” My sentence was cut off by the surprising yet completely coveted kiss he placed on my unsuspecting lips. I tasted chocolate and desire. He pulled away, peered at me, and smiled a genuine smile, one that brought light to the world, and put the sun to shame. Maybe I am getting a little ahead of myself. This story doesn’t begin here, at the heat of the moment. There is a history as to why this kiss changed my life.
I never had a boyfriend. Hell, I had never actually been kissed. Well, I have been kissed, but never by someone who’d wanted to kiss me, for me. I mean, I have played Spin the Bottle and Seven Minutes in Heaven, but they don’t count. My actual first kiss was at my eighth grade graduation, but that was not an event that a girl would consider her ‘first kiss’. The guy I liked had pulled me aside and kissed me. At first, I was ecstatic. However, I then found out that he had also kissed my best friend. Not so memorable first kiss, huh? He then said that he was confused, and had not really wanted to kiss me. I was heartbroken. So, again, I had never had someone like me in any sort of inkling in a way other than friendship. At first, It was completely disheartening and depressing, but soon, I learned to numb the pain of that thought, which was an ever-present thorn in my side. Sooner or later, I got used to rejection. Little did I know, that one fateful night in the beginning of January was going to change my life.
The day was brisk. It was the day of the tournament. After school, I rushed over to the school where the tournament was hosted. My partner and I both done two rounds, always going back to the quad where all the competitors met after their rounds were finished. It was now after dinner, and my partner was no where to be found. I stood and chatted aimlessly with another competitor from my school’s team. Suddenly, she had to leave, because her round was starting. So, there I stood, standing by the door, - inside of course; it was very chilly outside - feeling slightly foolish. Then I spied him, standing by his friends.
He was tall, around five foot eight, with wispy brown hair that fell into his doe eyes, which were behind black framed lenses. He wore a suit, like everyone else, but somehow, he made it seem more relaxed. He seemed at ease, talking amongst his friends. Unexpectedly, he turns his head and glances at me. Immediately, I avert my eyes to my cellphone, which was clutched in my hand. Thinking he’d looked away by now, I lift my gaze, only to find myself looking in his face.
“Um, hi,” I managed to say, thanking whatever God was listening for not letting my voice waver.
We began chatting, discussing what schools we went to, and what events we did. His friends kept glancing over, and finally, he said to me:
“Wait a minute, let me go talk to them.” He walked over to his gaggle of friends, and spoke to them quickly. Sauntering back to me, he said, “Come on, let’s go outside.”
We amble outside, side by side, discussing our heritage, religion, interests, and more. I learned that he was Colombian, Christian, and ran track. I could feel my heart beating erratically, and my cheeks had started to blush, that could be passed off as a result from the cold. We sat down at the side of the buiding, at one of the ensembles of table and chairs. Our conversations began to be even more flirtatious, yet still discussing topics that were slightly more serious.
Then, it happened.
My insides were on fire. People however, had started passing by our sides of the building, in order to reach the buildings for their final round for the night. We stood up, and he pulled me to the back of the building. Pushing me gently against the wall, he began to kiss me a little more passionately than before, but still keeping it innocent. His hands were on my waist, pushing our bodies closer. My fingers wound into his hair, reveling in its softness. Like all good things, it was over too soon. I smiled slightly, averting my eyes, yet still managing to look at him
Instantaneously, my phone vibrated. I answered it, my fingers of my left hand now entertwined with his fingers on his right.
“Sara? Where are you? Our round is starting in two minutes!” My partner asked, her voice raised.
My eyes grew wide, like a deer in headlights. “Okay, I’m on my way! What room are we in?” She told me what room we were in, and hung up. I looked into Shane’s eyes a little ruefully.
“I need to go.”
“No... But what if I decided to keep you here?” he flirted playfully.
I smirked. “Then my partner will be after my skin, and then where would our relationship be? I’d be dead,” I joked.
“True... Then, we’d better make this last.” He kissed me that last time, though never taking advantage of me. It was sweet, soft, and I felt like I was in heaven on Earth.
“Talk to you tomorrow?”
I walked away, smiling. I would never be the same. Finally, I had someone who actually thought I was worth kissing, as superficial as it sounds. I was, at long last, for the first time in a while, truly happy.