Just be you

January 10, 2012
Lo’s thoughts to herself Since we aren’t all perfect, I can simply make a mistake without explaining myself- though I know it’s not okay.. What am I thinking, who do I even have to tell!? Everyone else is doing it anyway, and they’re the ones that have the fun, and get noticed. What could even go wrong? If I don’t go they’ll just think I’m foolish and boring. They can’t think I’m foolish and boring; I’m fun and full of life. Upper classman will look down on me as if I was just another annoying sophomore that is a goody-two-shoe who never “lives a little”- heck I’ll show them how to live a lot. I’ll have to go shopping to get something hot to wear, and tell everyone to be prepared for what is coming their way. Looks in mirror To think I was planning on not going. Sits in chair My parents are clueless; they think I’m going to a little slumber party… oh please. If only I could be eighteen and out of this damn place, my god. Phone lights up on bed. “Wanna do something tonight, I think Tyler’s parent’s are gone so he’s gonna have people over!!!!” Grinning “Yes let’s go! Get ready here? Come over whenever. What time is he having it? “Sends text and glances through closet Now I have to wear something hot tonight too, here’s where everyone will finally see who I really am, I have to look amazing. Looks in mirror as phone lights up “You come here! My parents aren’t gonna be home till late so it’ll be easy to get picked up by whoever and leave. I think he said around nine? Just come over and we’ll get “party ready” together ;) BTW Mitch is gonna be there<3 you have to help me pick out something hot!” smiles as door opens – “We’re going out to dinner are you coming? We’ll be leaving in like five minutes” No I’m not going to dinner, if I go to dinner then I won’t be skinny, or be able to be with Ash before the party. “No. But can you drop me off at Ashley’s on the way, we’re gonna have a Netflex kind of night” snickers and looks down at phone “Yeah, that’s fine are her parents home?” why does she freakin care… “No mom, we’re actually throwing this huge party” sarcastically- as mother laughs “Great. Come on get your stuff and lets go. Your father and I are starving!” Wow how easy could this get? Should have started lying like this a long time ago, I would have been everywhere and back by now! Laughing to herself, replies to text “Leaving now, my parents are so easy to get away with (: this will be one heck of a night!” grabs make-up bag, purse, and shoves some clothes in another bag and walks out the door and to the car. Here goes nothing; I’ll take a shot to that tonight, ha I’ll take more than that.
Two hours into the party
“Mom?” on the phone “Yes…?” long pause I can’t do this takes a deep breath “Do we have the movie Just go With it?” snickering over the phone “No I don’t believe we do, sorry. What are you guys up too?” None of you your business!!!!!!!!! “Oh just finished watchin’ Strangers so now we need a funny movie, but we don’t have the one we wanted so yeah nevermind.” mom laughing “Okay then!” turns phone off and looks up “I’m sorry I cannot ask her for a ride you guys, she’ll kill me.” They hate me, sweet. “Its fine, don’t worry I can get my brother to take you, it’ll be fine, trust me. You won’t get in trouble; you’re safe here with all the rest of us. You can’t blame yourself for Ash’s mistakes” Tyler- Host of the party said
Maybe I don’t have to be this rebel to be liked; I just did something I wouldn’t do and was afraid to help myself out because of it and am still liked. Why did I make myself this person I’m afraid to be in front of my parents? How come I watched my best friend be handcuffed and put in a police car, and didn’t cry or show any fear for my own self. I did the same thing that Ashley did tonight but yet she’s the one who has to face consequences. My parents will find out through the grape vine and realize that I was supposed to be with her. My parents aren’t dumb or clueless to what I do, they just trust me- I never would have done this with Kylie, they’ll think I’m being friends with the wrong people. I hate myself; I hate who I have become. Tearing up What am I gonna do. I just wanna be home, with my mom and dad. Watching movies and playing games, in my PJs and just be little again. I don’t wanna grow up. I just wanna go home.

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