He turned to me and said "inhale deeply," I did as he told because I was desperate to escape. Escape the real world filled with pain, sadness,and torment. I had never done this before and little did I know, I would do it again. Not just a couple of times but every day, sometimes more than once a day. This was my first step down a road that I wasn't even sure I wanted to go down but out of desperation to be numb, I sprinted down. I sprinted down this road never to look back because I feared what I would see if I did. To look back at what I had left behind would cause more pain. A distraught family, pitied by the others around them. I was tired of hearing how everyone knew how I felt, how we were the picture perfect family, and most of all how it would get better. I lost my best friend, my other half, my twin and no one could experience the pain that I had endured. We were inseparable since birth. She accepted me for everything I was, she was my shoulder to cry on, she was the one I went to with my problems and she would always know how to make it better. I became the parent. I took care of my mother, who stumbled home from the local pub every night, half caked in her own vomit. I took care of my father, even though it usually left me with bruises. One day, it was too much and I ended up there. Listening to a druggie who was telling me to throw it all away. Standing in some dark stingy house, holes in the walls, needles on the ground all around me."Inhale deeply." I never thought those would be the words that ruined my life. My name is Emily and I'm an addict.
January 4, 2012