Drifting through the motions of daily tasks. My mind is in need of an escape. Nothing registers anymore. Every day feels like a million years; how can my mind be vacant? my heart feels dead with all the complexities; how can my heart be closed? Why does my body not remember the simple embraces; a hug, a kiss, a simple touch. i want those sweet embraces. Arguments bring feelings of mass destruction. Vindictive actions reduce me to a soaked pillowcase every night. Mistakes are made and actions taken. Thoughts of emotions race by so quickly its hard to pace myself to merely hold one. I have no concentration. Throbbing from all the lies and actions drawn from jealousy caused by miscommunication. I sink as far down as the soles on my high-tops. Yet communication feels as if it would shatter everything we have. So my lips are kept pursed and tounge tied. I never had feelings as true and meaningful as these. The pain prosecutes my heart, my emotions torture my mind, and my lifeless corpse ends up with nothing.
December 31, 2011