"Pain is a reminder I'm alive.. Happiness is a reminder that I'm living"

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My eyes are stinging.
My heart is non existent.
My faithe has official sunk so low.
I have nothing left to be happy about.
I want my life back..need my friends and family.
I am so unwanted its unbelievable. I have no-one.
The same as my birthday, Christmas will only bring temporary happiness.
I made a saying.."Pain is a reminder I'm alive. Happiness is a reminder that I'm living."
365 days on the 7th of Dec 2010, I was in this house for 1 year without school or friends.
I have nothing to do. I'm so lonely. Haven't had a kiss..haven't had a hug from anyone except my family. My dad always gave me hugs... even when he wasn't okay. I miss him. I really do. Crying is becoming more frequent. Not being able to tell anyone, kills me.
Makes life so much more unbearable... i don't know how to look people in the eye.
I've said all these things so many times..but it hasn't changed. And I feel as if nothing ever will. I'm stuck in something I wouldn't wish on anyone. And its not like I didn't try to be a better person and start doing things right. I guess in the end it doesn't even matter.
I don't determine my future..not anymore. I have to play to everyone else's rules.
Not like there's anything i can do. I'm a kid. I have no say in it.





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