As she awakened in her room, she began to weep. She attempted to shut her eyes and make the truth go away but no matter what she did, it was never going to change. She remembered the idiotic things she had done and the fool she had made of herself. She opened her eyes to a sunny day and prayed that it would rain. Quickly she grasped her phone and checked it for messages, of which there were none. She looked through her contact and began to erase the people she no longer cared about. The people she had been trying to "impress". She felt worthless and began to imagine how this could effect her life. She didn't want the people she cared about most to know because she didn't even want to know herself. She had realized the people she had been hanging out with weren't real friends. They didn't genuinely care. She felt like the empty vessel of her former self. She moved from the bed and began to walk into the bathroom to wash her face. The quick motion didn't take well to her body and she was overcome by the need to vomit. Running to the bathroom, every bad choice she had made revolted against her body and escaped through her mouth, making a sound so disgusting it made her cringe. After flushing her mistakes she went to the sink and wet her face. As she lifter her head from the basin, she couldn't look into the mirror. She couldn't bear to see what she had become. She slowly raised her eyes and began to weep. She could not hid from the mirror, it showed all. It showed the dark circles under her watery eyes, the vomit caked hair she had pulled back from her face, and the bruises on her body that she couldn't remember getting. As she moved to lay back down, she let the pain in her ankle numb her shattered self. She slipped under the covers and swore to herself "never again". Never again would she let a bottle ruin her life. Never again would she trust those who didn't deserve it. Never again would she feel as she did now. As she made this decision she fell back into her far away dream world, slipping away from the harsh reality and the memories she wanted to forget.
January 3, 2012