A New Hope

December 18, 2011
By , Merritt Island, FL
It was a cold wintry night as Marina strolled down the streets of her neighborhood. She often could be found walking around at night in order to clear her mind when her family was fighting and tonight was no exception. Tonight’s brawl had been worse than usual after she had gotten into a fight with her younger sister after she walked in on her and her friends smoking a joint in the middle of the living room. Marina detested seeing her sister make the same mistakes that their parents had also made. In a moment of fury her mother, sister, and father had all ganged up on her calling her a “stuck up b**** who needed to loosen up” along with other insults, none of which she deserved. Marina was a straight A student with only an occasional B showing up on a test now and again, the first chair flute in her school’s symphonic band, she never even touched drugs or alcohol, did all of her chores around the house, and even had managed to get a job and help pay rent on their dilapidated house. Never-the-less though her parents always managed to find something to yell at her about and to make her feel worthless. With Christmas only a week away, the argument that night had made Marina feel even worse then usual and she had ran out of the house with tears streaming down her face. After about ten minutes of walking around in the cool air she had stopped crying but felt even more torn up inside than she had ever felt before.

After wandering around for quite a while she came across the bridge that connected her small town to the slightly bigger town across the river. Just before the bridge was a tiny little wooden bench big enough only for two people that over looked the river where Marina decided to rest a little bit to mull things over. As she stared blankly at the water she thought about her family and her friends. Her mind was full of memories and just about none of them were happy ones. All her life she had been neglected by friends, family, and anyone else she had attempted to reach out to. Now, she simply couldn’t stand to suffer through another day of the sorrow she had suffered her entire life. And in that moment she made a decision. She decided that she wouldn’t suffer another day, instead she was going to jump off of the bridge and finally be happy.

As she stood up ready to walk up the bridge and end it all she heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and saw a tall, skinny boy with dark hair and bright blue eyes standing under a streetlamp in black skinny jeans and a dark blue hoodie. He smiled at her and she just stood there unsure what to do. He walked over to her and held out his hand, “Hey. I’m Kyle,” not sure exactly what was happening she shook his hand. “I’m Marina.” He smiled again and sat down on the bench, she sat down next to him. “So what’s a pretty girl like you doing out by the river at this time of night by herself?”
“I-I just was thinking about some stuff and ended up her.” Suddenly Kyle grabbed Marina’s hands and stared into her eyes. “Your eyes are so empty, it’s almost like you have no will to live. Were you thinking about killing yourself?” Marina stood up, something about him was scary but at the same time she found herself trusting him. “I was actually. And if you knew what I’ve been through you would be to.” Now Kyle stood up as well and he stared intently into her eyes again. “Killing yourself wouldn’t make anything any better for you, I would know.” Marina gave him a quizzical look which for some reason made him laugh. “Do you want to hear a story Marina?” Marina, unsure of whether or not she should trust this strange boy, nodded her head.

“A year ago I was in the same position that you are now. Scared, lonely, feeling unloved. I thought that I had nothing going for me. Not a thing. My family had yelled at me, called me useless, heck they even made me feel useless. But I pretended it didn’t bother me. I would spend so many nights crying myself to sleep. The only friend that I had was a brown teddy bear with a gold bow that I had named Gregory and held every night while I slept, imagine how embarrassing that was. A sixteen year old boy who slept with a teddy bear, the one person I told about Gregory ended up telling the rest of the school. I was a laughing stock and no body ever took me seriously because of it. So after a while I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I came here crying with only one thought in my mind. I was going to end it all. So I walked up that bridge and stood at the very top or a few minutes. I looked at the water and at the two towns, and then I took a deep breath and stepped of the side of the bridge, as casually as I would’ve stepped into an elevator. I don’t even remember hitting the water, all I remember is being engulfed in a cold blackness.” Marina stepped away from Kyle, “Your obviously not dead,” She stuttered as she backed away from him, “ You wouldn’t be here talking to me if you were.” Kyle laughed and smiled yet again, Marina was beginning to hate that smile. “ I’m dead alright,” he somehow ended up behind her. “And trust me it’s not something that you want to be. You’ll be stuck here for the rest of eternity. Unseen and unheard. Only once a year are you able to talk to someone when your dead and that’s only if they let you. They rule the souls of those who take their own lives. And the worst part is, after you die they show you what your future would’ve been. They show you all the wonderful things you miss out on. They even show you what your family would’ve been like,” As he said that Marina noticed his face grew somber. “I would’ve had the most beautiful daughter in the world. I regret every day not having been able to bring her into this world. Please trust me when I say this. No matter how bad things are never ever kill yourself. If life isn’t going well for you then it’s not meant to be the end.” Marina backed away from him again this time towards the river and accidentally slipped on a rock. She fell backwards and the last thing she saw was Kyle standing above her as everything went black.

Marina awoke the next morning in a sweat lying in her bed. She jumped up and opened the curtains in her room and looked outside. It was just a dream she thought to herself. Even if that was only a dream, I’m never going to kill myself. That shits insane. She took a deep breath and turned around, a new hope in her heart that things would one day get better. She gasped as she saw sitting on her bed, a small brown teddy bear with a golden bow.

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