The Eulogy of Mordachi Jefferson Jackson

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Mordachi Jackson has loved comic books for as long as he can remember. His father Shlomo Jackson owned the rights to Comicon. Mordachi had no friends except for his beloved comic books. His favorite was "The Red Rider Who Met Superman And Then Bat Man Returned."
One day he was at the comic/coffee shop drinking hot chocolate and reading some absorbing comics when the unimaginable happened. A flying pig with rabies bit him. The pig’s mouth foamed over with foamy, ivory, thick liquids. Mordachi started to run home. As the ball of his foot slammed against the ground, on the next stride, he was in the air. Mordachi couldn’t believe it. He was flying. The gravity defying boy began to soar and soar.

Eventually he was home. As he could see his shadow on the roof, he didn’t know how to land. He fell through the roof and miraculously landed on his bed. He was so excited that he was disturbed. He wanted to run and tell his friends but then it hit him in the face like a white glove with powder. HE HAD NO FRIENDS! Mordachi has an amazing power but he had to keep it to himself.
Up until now, Mordachi was a scrawny figure with no build. This had to change. He joined a gym and got a personal trainer. He is a super human. His strength attracted Jennifer Check. For once he has a friend. They began to date. Not as Jennifer and Mordachi, but Jennifer and Mordachi The Great. He had to keep his identity a secret. He worked and worked until his muscles were bigger than Hulk Hogan’s. He was now a secret.
A year has passed and Jennifer and Mordachi are still going out. One day at the little comic/coffee shop where Mordachi was infected, the unimaginable happened. Mordachi was attacked by flying monkeys! They ripped his mask off with the purpose of exposing Mordachi The Great’s true identity. Jennifer was flabbergasted when she saw -*that it was Mordachi. She was impressed that the scrawny little Mordachi that she had known as a child was this superhero.
Yes, Jennifer once knew Mordachi. Mordachi’s dead mother was Jennifer’s mom’s sister. THEY WERE COUSINS! As soon as she found out, it was like she was being pressed with stones. No vibrations passed her vocal chords. Her face was half red and half white with embarrassment and nauseousness. She stormed out of that place like Mordie with a coupon. Mordie was bawling on the ground.
Mordie flew to Jennifer’s house A.S.A.P. He was determined to explain to Jennifer why he kept his identity as big of a secret as Colonel Sanders did to his Fried Chicken Recipe. Jennifer Screamed “We’re Done!”
Mordie could not cope with the pain. It was like a thousand needles plunged in his epidermis . Because her face was like a hundred million Sarah Jessica parkers, she was irresistible. (Jennifer’s face doesn’t look like an ugly foot/horse thing.) Jennifer was hotter than the ground after Mordie found out about K-Mart lay away. Now she is just a memory. Mordie is now just another shmegegge schlub. He begins to feel depressed over the course of 3 years and can’t take it anymore. The once beloved Mordachi Jefferson Jackson will be missed and loved forever. Here he lies in his final resting place. R.I.P. I Elijah Jackson will deeply miss my brother Mordie. FOREVER.





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Def_Leppard_fan120 said...
Jan. 1, 2012 at 10:33 pm
Come check out my article called THE BATTLE and comment on what you thought about it.
 
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