Suicide

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While I’m standing on this chair thinking to myself I have no friends, I have no life, I’m 17 and my family doesn’t care, I’m tying this rope around my neck. My life has been depressing and the shoes on my feet are 3 sizes too big. Why live? All I remember is the sound of someone breaking the door and yelling “Don’t do it…..”
*Beeep beep beep beep*
My eyes were slowly opening and life was a blur.
“Am I in heaven?”I asked
“No ma’am you’re at the North County Hospital. You attempted to commit suicide” he answered.
“When can I leave?”
“You can’t, there’re two police officers waitin’ outside your being taken to a mental institution” he said with a straight look on his face as if he’s been through this before.
I looked down at my hand, it was tied to the bed post with cold silver hand cuffs…
I looked up, he was putting a needle in my IV…
“What are you doing?!” I yelled.
“You need rest, I’m putting you back to sleep,” replied the doctor.
“No I don’t need---”I was asleep in a matter of seconds.
I feel my fist getting heavier and heavier , There’s so much blood I don’t know if its from my fist or from her face I can see myself beating the cr** out of her like if I’m looking down from the clouds the fight switches position now I’m on the bottom and she’s on the top while she’s slapping me yelling that I’m a no life loser, ‘I’m rooting for myself on, but I can’t hear myself”.

I’m being shaken. My eyes are closed and all of a sudden I can hear someone yelling “Wake up it’s just a dream Marie! Wake up!” I quickly awakened to a random white haired lady in my face for some reason I had a strait jacket on, I’m so confused…

“What happen?”The lady asked.

“Tell me where I am!”

“You’re in a mental institution”
A few minutes passed I was sad and wanted to be home but now that I think of it I never had a real home…

“There was blood everywhere, I could see myself, I was fighting back”.

We sat there in silence, I was there for 4 months confined in a 10 by 10 room all by myself a bed a table and a chair, a doctor came in once a day for 55 minutes to talk to me about my problems, my dreams and my teenage life. The only times I could leave were when I needed to use the rest room and when I had visitors but it doesn’t matter ‘cause I never had visitors. Now I’m walking out of these 2 front doors I’ve never seen before and never remember going through, it was time for a new beginning a new journey…

I ran down the street and yelled “I’m free!” Quickly realizing that I have nowhere to go, I looked around and asked myself “Where am I?” One thing I learned from the counselor in the institution was “life is about fighting and cheating, that’s all people do. You have to fight to get somewhere.” I’m taking that advice and following it. I will ignore my dreams and be someone that will matter to this world. When people tell me I can’t, I’ll prove them wrong. I WILL MAKE AN IMPACT. Look at me now, I write stories for a living, I’m a millionaire, I met my handsome husband and had 2 beautiful children. I have proved the quote “Rags to riches.” So can you.





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