The Mistake

December 22, 2011
It’s funny how in your life one little mistake can ruin everything. Everything you’ve worked for can be thrown away. Every step you’ve taken can disappear and you can return to square one. The trust that you’ve built can come crashing down around you. The love you’ve taken so long to create can suddenly be destroyed. Everything can be ruined, that is, unless you’re strong enough to get back on your feet and fix what you’ve done.

On the night of August 7th, 2010 I went to my cousin Amanda’s wedding reception. My boyfriend, Willie, and I had just broken up so I was excited to have fun with my friends. My friend Sarah immediately began to introduce me to all of her friends that I didn’t know. “This is Paul”, she said, “And this is Devin, and his girlfriend, Laura.” Laura barely muttered hello, but the two boys were very friendly. I noticed Laura was rude and distant to everyone and I was surprised that someone as friendly as Devin was with her. I brushed it off and had a great night with my friends, old and new, but when I went home I couldn’t stop thinking about Devin.

A little over a month later my friend, Whitney, and I took a trip to the small town where my family is from. We had decided to attend the polka barn dance at a friend of my father’s buffalo farm. We walked in and saw people hopping about, polkaing, and having a good ol’ time. The band was on the stage with their accordions and Chad, the singer, was belting out “Roll Out the Barrel”. Despite all of the commotion and all of the people, my eyes automatically became glued to the most handsome face in the crowd. Devin. My palms began to sweat as I decided whether or not to talk to him. Whitney said, “Go talk to him, Emma. He’s cute! You deserve it.” I was so nervous, I just couldn’t do it. I was scared that he’d blow me off or that Laura would hunt me down and murder me. Later that night I decided to post on his Facebook wall, but I deleted it immediately because of the same fears.

A few weeks later I logged onto Facebook and saw “Devin Dowalkowski is no longer in a relationship”. My heart skipped a beat as I tried to build up the courage to shoot him a text. Once again my nerves took over and I didn’t do it. Later that night my friend Grant messaged me and told me that he thought Devin was interested in me. I couldn’t believe it. We started talking and hanging out and I couldn’t believe how right I had been about him. He was the sweetest guy I had ever met. He made me feel special like nobody ever had before and when I was with him I never quit smiling. One night we were just relaxing at my house, watching a movie, and eating chocolate pudding when he suddenly looked at me a said, “Em, How would you feel about being my girlfriend?” Of course I told him that I would love to and we were extremely happy, for a very long time.

We’d been together for almost a year, and I could honestly say I was truly, fully, and completely in love with him. He was at college and I was only able to see him every two weeks, but that was okay because our love was so strong. While he was gone I needed something to do so I started hanging out with some bad influences and one night at a party I did something so out of character that I even couldn’t believe it happened- I cheated. I cried for hours at the thought of hurting someone who loved me so much and had trusted me with his heart. I thought for sure that everything was ruined.

I decided the best thing to do would be to tell him and let him decide what he wanted. My friends said things like “ You’re stupid for telling him” and “He’s at college, he can’t blame you for wanting to have some fun”. However I didn’t see it that way. I felt empty, scared, and I completely broke down when I asked him to forgive me and all he said was, “I’ll think about it.” Not only had I hurt my boyfriend, my best friend, but I hurt myself. I felt that God was really trying to teach me a lesson, and I was definitely understanding it. I felt alone for the longest time, like nobody understood what I was feeling. All I could do was hope and pray that in the end we would get through it.

It’s funny how in life you can think that one little mistake can ruin everything. For a while you can believe that everything is crashing down around you. You can feel like you’re about to return to square one. You feel that everything has been thrown away. I felt this way. Then I decided I wasn’t going to let that happen. I got up on my own two feet, brushed off the guilt and the pain, and did something about it. In the end, it made my relationship stronger. We both appreciate each other more now that we thought we were going to lose it all, and neither of us would ever do anything again to put what we have at stake. Sometimes you feel like the love you’ve taken so long to create has been destroyed, but if you’re willing to build up the strength to do something about it, you’re wrong.

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