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The Curious Question of Annoying Children

Yesterday, as I strolled down the dried foods aisle of a local supermarket, I heard a strange and frightening noise- the sound of a young child not getting his way. As I drew nearer, the shrieking intensified. Upon reaching the end of the aisle, I saw the reason for the commotion- a boy of about two or three years old had spotted a bin of chocolate candies and wanted a taste. His mother, instead of simply telling him no, had tried to reason with him.

I saw that things could not end well. The child, having wedged his feet under the lip of the shelf near the floor, showed no signs of letting go of the lid of the candy bin. The mother, who by now was nearly sitting on top of the lid, showed no signs of letting the child have his way. The air began to fill with the stench of sweat from the struggle. I turned away my head to continue my shopping.

“We can’t afford this candy right now,” I heard the mother say as I continued my search for dried pineapples. “Maybe I can get you something at the check out.”

She sounded absolutely exhausted. The grimace on the child’s face would have scarred a battle hardened soldier. Besides making my skin crawl, it told me that things would only get worse when they went home. My friends, is this the kind of world we want to live in? Bowing to the will of those that would annoy us to our deaths? I think not. Hence, I continue to advocate the implementation of the Annoyance Removal Agency (ARA), under the leadership of the illustrious and accredited Joshua McAwesome, to defend and protect our future from those who would mar it with further annoyance.
With all due respect and honesty,
Archibald Phineas Crane
Aristocrat,
Internet Blogger,
People Advocating Annoyance Reduction (PAAR)



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This article has 56 comments. Post your own now!

Meaghan_Elise said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 8:12 pm
I'm addicted to reading your stuff now(: Hahaa. You're a really good author. I love the details you use, and it's really entertaining to read. Keep  posting more stuff!
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:59 am
I am up north.......is there supposed to be a message getting through to me?
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:08 pm
NO...... You think?
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:11 pm
hmmm, ya know...sometimes it seems like it  o_O  other times.....nah, well...maybe, no you wouldn't!!  would you?  oh wait you don't know my address, okay I'm good
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:30 pm
But I know someone who does have your address.  You did put a return address on the thing you sent to T*** the Nike Tike with the presents in it, didn't you?
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:36 pm
*choking myself.....uhm, kind of, but, she ripped that envelope up and wrapped my snowglobe in it to send back to me  :D  speaking of which, did you like the picture?
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:38 pm
Yeah, I did.  It looks even better in person than it did online. :)
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:39 pm
:D  good  (even with the strapping tape on parts of it  xP )
 
JamieNicole said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 4:13 pm
Your welcome Jacob this is very interesting i loved it.
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Thanks.  Glad to see that at least some people like my perspective. :)
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Wow, 100 views already.  Thanks, peeps!
 
choosing2live4Christ replied...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 4:46 pm
woah....you just posted it like...this morning?  or last night after midnight?  ;)  lol  cuz yeah I was up and on here until then  lol
 
choosing2live4Christ said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 6:04 am
at the beginning I was like, "i know how shopping with little kids goes over" because of having shopped with my sister-in-law and niece and nephew many times.  then at the end how you talked about the "ARA" I was like SWEET!!  does that mean it will take care of my older siblings!!   hehehe  xD
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 11:20 am
They have to be children, causing a general public annoyance, or being a nuisance in general. 
 
choosing2live4Christ replied...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 11:33 am
hehehe....my siblings are (in my mind) a nuisance in general...  xP  and so are YOU!!   grrrr
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Yes, well, as the real Archibald Phineas Crane, I am not eligible to get bumped off as a nuisance.  You however, are. 0__0 (creeper smile) Mwahahahahahaha!
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:59 pm
PLEASE I NEED TO TALK TO YOU, then I won't punish you for saying that....hehehe  I have my ways
 
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