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The Curious Question of Annoying Children

Yesterday, as I strolled down the dried foods aisle of a local supermarket, I heard a strange and frightening noise- the sound of a young child not getting his way. As I drew nearer, the shrieking intensified. Upon reaching the end of the aisle, I saw the reason for the commotion- a boy of about two or three years old had spotted a bin of chocolate candies and wanted a taste. His mother, instead of simply telling him no, had tried to reason with him.

I saw that things could not end well. The child, having wedged his feet under the lip of the shelf near the floor, showed no signs of letting go of the lid of the candy bin. The mother, who by now was nearly sitting on top of the lid, showed no signs of letting the child have his way. The air began to fill with the stench of sweat from the struggle. I turned away my head to continue my shopping.

“We can’t afford this candy right now,” I heard the mother say as I continued my search for dried pineapples. “Maybe I can get you something at the check out.”

She sounded absolutely exhausted. The grimace on the child’s face would have scarred a battle hardened soldier. Besides making my skin crawl, it told me that things would only get worse when they went home. My friends, is this the kind of world we want to live in? Bowing to the will of those that would annoy us to our deaths? I think not. Hence, I continue to advocate the implementation of the Annoyance Removal Agency (ARA), under the leadership of the illustrious and accredited Joshua McAwesome, to defend and protect our future from those who would mar it with further annoyance.
With all due respect and honesty,
Archibald Phineas Crane
Aristocrat,
Internet Blogger,
People Advocating Annoyance Reduction (PAAR)



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This article has 56 comments. Post your own!

FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss said...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:51 am:
250 views already!  That was fast!  Anyways... Still a 5 star rating.  This is one of my most discussed pieces already, and it's only been about 3 days...
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 5:31 pm :
haha  ikr  :P
 
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NewPerson said...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 4:27 pm:
okay, i'm not new....I am just posting a comment from somebody else.  "What the heck do you want dried pineapples for?"
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:47 am :

What? Dried pineapples are awesome!

(Slips into British Aristocrat mode) But of course, one can only go so long without snacks preserved in sucha manner. Pineapples are among the grandest fruits ever to be dried.

 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:48 am :
ROFL  I bet you can guess who said that  :P
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:54 am :
Mhmm........
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:56 am :
I mean other than me.....
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 2:48 pm :
Your sister?
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:04 pm :
LOL nope, she doesn't even know I talk to you  :P  think of how we became friends
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:07 pm :
Alayne? She reads my work?
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:09 pm :
haha  I showed her this one, and she said that, but she didn't want to give out her name and email address  :P
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:13 pm :

Teen Ink doesn't give that out to anyone, you know...

I think she'd like TI, and she should try it.

 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 3:16 pm :
yeah, I know.  but she likes internet safety......a lot....lol
 
Lord-Flavius-Jacobius-Ossummuss replied...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 4:18 pm :
You should have her read more of my stuff.  It's kind of her style...
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 5:32 pm :
haha  I'll try  :P  but really, i don't know how much she likes reading, and I really don't talk to her as much as i used to, we are both always busy
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 2:48 pm :
she wants to know, "what exactly...cough...IS my style?"
 
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Meaghan_Elise said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 8:12 pm:
I'm addicted to reading your stuff now(: Hahaa. You're a really good author. I love the details you use, and it's really entertaining to read. Keep  posting more stuff!
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 8:22 pm :
IKR!!!  ;) 
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:44 am :
Thanks, I will.  Once I started writing, I couldn't stop, so I have a lot more to send in. I try to always have something pending.
 
Tiggerlily14 replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:46 am :
hmmmm, you should write something about........A CHRISTMAS TRADITION!!!!   :D
 
FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss replied...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:49 am :
Yeah, like sending anthrax in the mail to people from up north. (Just kidding, I swear.)
 
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