An All Too Familiar Voice

November 19, 2011
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I wish it would snow. The cold, and the wet wouldn't be so bad. The freezing rain beats on my all to thin hoody and my hands get so cold I can barely feel them and I'm sure my fingers will fall off; so I close my eyes and I'magine waking up tomorrow morning somewhere warm. I wish it would snow. "Its not going to happen" whispers an all to familiar voice "why would it snow for you?" I keep my eyes closed "Hello Depression" I say quietly. He wraps arms around my waist. On a cold November day like today, closeness would normally be a comforting and good; but his hands are cold, everything about hI'm is cold. "Hello Maggie" he sais softly into my ear. I feel his smooth, chilled breath on my neck and I silently pray he'll leave soon.

Holding me tighter and closer, he asks "Where are your friends?" I stiffen at this and suddenly feel tears in my eyes "I-"
"Yes. Say it Maggie"
"I can't"
"Accept the truth" A tear rolls down my cheek and I try to swallow what feels like a golf ball in my throat. "But it cant be the truth" Depression spun me around to face hI'm, and he held my shoulders to tightly for comfort. "I hang out with people!" I said, avoiding eye contact with hI'm. I hate his eyes. They look right into me. Its uncomfortable. "But none of them care about you Maggie"

I won't accept it and shake my head violently in protest "No, people care about me! What about William?" Depression tensed at the sound of Will's name, and his grip on my shoulders tightened briefly. He then collected hI'mself and lifted my face, forcing me to meet his hypnotic gaze. "He'll leave you sooner or later" He said. Depression took his finger and ran it softly along my jaw line. "Best friends never last. Lovers never last. Not that anyone would want to be your lover. Death seizes more than just dead bodies and human souls. She steals the souls of relationships as well"

I shook my head again. I was beginning to believe hI'm. I didn't like that. "My bus will be here soon. I have to-" Depression clasped his hand around my throat "I know death personally" He declared angrily, very close to my face. I gasped for air i couldn't find as he lifted me off the ground. I kicked and tried to shout. "Death and I could make a deal. Why should you live on in misery when I could end your pathetic excuse for a life right now. Especially since you know that no one will care that you've died; Not even me. You're a low life and an idiot! Why would anyone stay except me?"

His grip still on my neck, my feet still off the ground, tears streaming from my eyes, and pain beginning to throb in my arms from the cold- Depression put me back down on the pavement and got very close. So close that his mouth was right by my ear. "Now do you understand?" he whispered.

I closed my eyes and felt very weak. I breathed in and out a few tI'mes to stop the crying. "I don't need you" I whispered. He took a step backwards in shock. "What was that?" I opened my eyes so to stare hI'm right in the face. "I don't need you" I repeated at normal volume. "You don't have anyone else but me!" he exlaI'med. I suddenly heard the bus coming up the road. It built up my confidence somehow. "I have my family; and I have Will!"
"They're obligated to love you! Plus William is only one person! That's not enough! Don't you want to be popular? Don't you want to be liked?"
"One person is all it takes, Depression. If I have one true friend, then I'm alright. Will is a true friend. You're not" My bus pulled up. "By the way" I said, one foot up on the bus "My family loves me for me! Don't follow me Depression, I'll be fine without you!"

I didn't see Depression again. To my surprise he didn't follow me onto the bus. I sat there looking out the window, absolutely sure he'd be waiting for me at home. He wasn't. As my fingers began to burn from the sensation of going from freezing to almost warm, I looked out the window again. It was snowing. Then I did something I hadn't done for a long tI'me: I smiled. A real smile that I meant with my whole heart. It was a beautiful thing to feel on my cheeks.





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This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

CurryBoiSwag said...
Dec. 12, 2011 at 12:12 am
This article is amazing, I love it(:
 
DooRonRon said...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 2:40 am
This is freaken amazing! I love love love how you personified depression! it made it so much more real and tangiable. Such a nice piece of work!
 
Wonderment said...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:21 pm
This is well written. I like how you personified, depression.
 
KendisPiper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:22 pm
thanks :D i just thought it might be interesting to see what would happen if depression had a physical body
 
KendisPiper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 11:09 pm
I apologize about the typo where every time the letters I and M are put together teenink has set it as I'm even if f a word, this is not my fault
 
BeyondTheBrooke said...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 9:57 pm
i.. i... wow. kendis this is..... frighteningly beautiful. just amazing. and scary because its true. its how i feel.
 
KendisPiper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 10:03 pm
thanks brooke, that means a lot coming from you
 
BeyondTheBrooke replied...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 10:10 pm
this one really hit me.....i just felt...almost as if it were written about me, or as if oi had written it. it gave me goosebumps
 
sunshine7223 said...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 11:19 pm
I see your quotings were screwed up too. The same thing happened on one of my poems, lol. I really enjoyed this though. I can relate to it in some ways. I felt some of the same things at one point in my life. Great job! :)
 
KendisPiper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 11:38 pm
and whenever I and M were next to eachother like "himself" it came out a d "hI'mself" which is terribly annoying because it looks like i didn't proof read it
 
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