Egg Yolks and Bubble Gum

November 17, 2011
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I opened my eyes and gazed up at the ceiling, yawned stretched my arms (you know, just doing my normal daily routine.) I put on a T, some jeans, and my Vans grabbed my things and trudged down the stairs. I ate my Honey Bunches of Oats (that I knew Mom would have already prepared for me). “Honey, why don’t you ever put your hair back so we can see your beautiful eyes?” my mom questioned.

“I don’t know, maybe I’m just special like that, “ I replied sarcastically.
I sprinted up the stairs to brush my teeth quickly; I was not going to miss the bus again. “Sweetie, the bus is here,” my mom called out. I placed my toothbrush down on the counter and as I sprinted down the stairs I bumped into my older brother, Mark, a self-absorbed junior.
Then he nagged “Move out of my way!”
Racing towards the bus my mom spoke “Don’t forget your lunches. Bye. Love you guys, have a great day!”


Getting on to the bus there were guys throwing a paper airplane back and forth, laughing and trying to aim at my face. I just ignored them and kept on walking quickly by the cherry red seats in the front of the bus. I passed by Lisa and Gretchen who were applying makeup with their little mirrors. “Hi, Jane, you still gonna sit next to the emergency exit today, like you always do?” Gretchen smirked.

“Ya… why, you got a problem with that?” I questioned, despising her tone. She was up to something.

“No, no just wondering, “ she said suspiciously. I sighed heavily and walked past her almost flicking my smooth, hazel hair in her snobby face. I plopped down in my chair next to the emergency exit, got out my ancient iPod and just zoned out to my U2 music.

I started to try to review what class I had first … science; uh I think today we were just going to take notes. Then I heard someone walking towards me. Who was it? When I looked up, I saw she had dark ebony eyes that sparkled in the sunlight, and crazy curly, ink black hair. “Hey Jane, are you thinking about school? You can just tell by the “joyful” look on your face,” my best (only) friend Marsha predicted while sitting down next to me.

“Yah, I groaned. I had known Marsha since the 5th grade when we were getting our things to go to recess, and by accident we both got locked inside the class room. We tried to get people’s attention, but they didn’t see or hear us. For that half an hour, we just talked, made jokes and stuff and it started our friendship. Though she seemed really awkward and anti social, she was my only friend and we learned to get along.

Getting up from my chair, when we reached school, I realized that that the back of my pants felt damp. I touched my rear to see what it was. It felt like water, but when I brought it up to my face to look at it, I noticed the liquid was a dark red. Was it me, it wasn’t the right time of the month? No it couldn’t be. Gretchen… I knew it was her. I remembered her talking to me suspiciously as I boarded the bus. I looked over to where she was sitting; she had a little smirk on her face, and was looking at me. Now I remembered this was the week -- the first week of September. This week everyone in the school did pranks to each other. It kind of has become a ‘tradition’. This wasn’t the first time. In the 6th grade she had poured glue all over my backpack, inside and out. It took a week for my mom to finally finish cleaning it. I felt so infuriated with Gretchen for the entire month, and I really never got over that prank. She’s also always mocking me. That little… “Marsha, do you have an extra pair of pants?” I questioned.

“Yea, I have PE today. Why?” she wondered.

“Gretchen pranked me, an unbelievable one. She put red colored water or something on my pants and… well I NEED pants.” I whispered. She looked confused and then I showed her my butt, pointing to it. “Ohhh, then she discretely got out her gym bag and pulled out her pants that said ‘Gryffindor’. “Thanks,” I acknowledged. She nodded her head. I quickly put the pants inside my bag before anyone else on the bus noticed. Then she walked off with her head slouched and her hair concealing her face. When I put my backpack on I made sure to make it hang really low. I hoped no one could see anything.



After changing in the bathroom I ran to the science room hoping I wouldn’t be late. Right as I entered the room the bell echoed. Getting into my seat I searched around for Marsha and pretended to cough. She turned around and looked at me. I winked at her, and then mouthed the words “Thanks.” What on earth would I do without her?


For the rest of the day at school I was just thinking about how I could get her back, but I couldn’t think of any creative ideas. When I got home, I started to do my homework and looked up ‘good pranks’ on the Internet. Then I found: If the person you want to prank is mildly allergic to anything, well… Then Marsha Skyped me, “Let me guess, you’re thinking about the prank thing >_<.”

“Yea,” I replied.

“Well, do your HW,” she complained.
I knew she was right but Gretchen deserved revenge. Then she wrote to me again, “NOW.”
Then I replied, “Fine :P”
The prank that I found online was perfect. I knew that Gretchen was slightly allergic to shea butter as once she put on a chap stick that had shea butter in it and then her lips got all puffy and swollen. Everyday at break she put’s on lotion to try to make her arms perfectly smooth. I was going to get some of my lotion and find a way to put it in with her lotion. It wouldn’t affect her health, but at least she will get really embarrassed.




Walking through the bus watching Gretchen glaring at me with evil in her eyes, I realized that she knew it was me. What was she going to do to me next? After I put Shea butter in her face lotion, she absolutely despised me for making her face blow up like a chipmunk. She always had to be the best. She always had to win. Gretchen Eagerd couldn’t come to admit that I had humiliated her. I wasn’t scared; at one point or another karma was going to slap her in the face.


In English class listening to Miss Harrings instruct us on how to write a paragraph, I felt so bored, I thought I was going to doze off. As I gazed into the distance, I saw Larry, a short, scrawny boy with curly black charcoal hair. He had seemed to like me since the 6th grade. In every language class he stared at me for almost the entire class, only blinking about 10 times, as far as I could tell. He never said one thing to me, and I felt kind of bad for him. At the same time, once again, I was a little disturbed by the creepy staring, so I asked to go to the bathroom and left the room.

When I came back I finished my Jane Goodall paper right before the bell rang to go to break. I quickly e-mailed Miss Harrings the document and went to sit with Marsha and eat my Goldfish.

“Hey Marsh, did you see Gretchen’s face yesterday?” I asked.

“Yea, it was amusing, but I think it was a little on the harsh side,” she murmured.

“What… that girl deserved to have at least one day that she doesn’t look completely flawless. My action was not just for myself but for everyone,” I protested.

“Just don’t do it again,” she ordered.
There was an awkward silence between Marsha and me when Larry came walking up to us quickly with his face looking down at the ground. Then he stared at my face and mumbled with his high-pitched voice “Jane, your eyes look especially sparkly today, um…TTYL.” Then he ran off with his long arms flinging all around. I felt weird and surprised that Larry would ever talk to me.

“Jane, I need you to come into my class right now!” yelled a familiar voice. It was Miss Harrings, and she didn’t look very happy. As soon as I entered her room, she told me to come to her computer. She pointed to a paragraph that seemed to look like mine.

“Later on today you will have detention for writing these vulgar statements about me,” she said sternly.

“But-,” I said

“No buts! I don’t want to hear any excuses. See you at 12:00,” she stated. She automatically pointed her finger towards the door, so without any hesitation I walked dejectedly out of the room.
Then I started to sprint over to Marsha. I just knew that Gretchen framed me. While I was in the bathroom she probably wrote some offensive thing about Mrs. Harrings in the middle of my paper.

“ Marsh, oh Gretchen is going to regret ever messing with me… she will suffer,” I insisted.

“No…come on Jane, I thought we talked about this, no more,” she nagged.

“I changed my mind,” I said. Then she rolled her eyes and made a big sigh.

“I’m not getting involved with this, you can sit with Larry if you want,” she suggested sarcastically. Then she walked into the distance. Marsha Spendler was not the type of girl with a short temper. I had pissed her off.



I had everything set up at school; all that I needed now was for Gretchen to do everything she usually did in her morning routine. I hoped she would flirt with all the jocks on the way to her locker, so that she gets distracted. She can’t notice the string. I saw Marsha walking briskly past me by the damp, dark green soccer field. She took a glimpse at me, but then she turned her head quickly, pretending I didn’t exist. Instead, she looked up at the dark gray sky, pretending she was interested in the variety of shades in the clouds. She still hadn’t gotten over our disagreement from yesterday. It was the first time in four years that I hadn’t sat next to her on the bus. It was just my luck. Gretchen marched by me with red high heels, her spotless Channel purse, and her pearl earrings that were shimmering in her dyed, daffodil colored hair.



The first bell rang, and I walked behind her, curious and hoping everything would go along as planned. So far, she was flirting with Derek Brown. Wow so surprising, I would never have guessed she would be so scandalous! Smoothing her hair back, she started to open her sparkly pink lock. Right before she opened the locker door, she turned to Derek, whispered something into his ear, and winked at him. I was lucky that she was distracted, ‘cause otherwise she might have noticed the clear string tied to her lock. Earlier in the morning I had placed several eggs on a piece of cardboard that was attached to the string. I placed this on top of her locker. This is going to look so hilarious! I couldn’t wait any longer. Watching her decode the combination seemed to take forever. She clasped the lock in her hands and tugged it downward. I saw the eggs flip down over the locker and land smack on her head. From one second to the next she was perfectly clean to being completely covered in egg goop. She looked dreadful; it felt so good inside to see her like this. The egg yolks slowly slid down her body, plopping one by one down on the ground. I quickly realized that I had to get out of the area. She couldn’t see me. She would destroy me. I started to scatter down the hall with my head down trying not to be noticed.


“ Ahhhh, I will kill Jane!” she screeched. I glanced back hoping she hadn’t spot me. Unfortunately, she was already glaring at me with her enormous crystal icy eyes. She flared her nose and spun her body in the opposite direction. She was heading straight towards the principal’s office. There was nothing I could do; I just had to go to my math class.

That class seemed to take forever. I couldn’t concentrate on any math problems, and I even forgot the answer to 8 x 7. Gosh sometimes I can be stupid.

Gretchen is probably talking to the principal right now. In the best circumstances I’ll probably get a detention. At worst, well, I didn’t even want to think about that. No matter what happens I will never regret my decision. Seeing the look on her face was so worth it. At the time I had no idea what could was going to happen to me. From the intercom, I suddenly heard “Jane Freeman, please come to the office immediately.” Everyone was starring at me as if they knew this was going to come sooner or later. Do rumors really spread that fast? They all knew about our rivalry, they all new about the pranks. In my nervousness, I got up from my chair quickly, forgetting about all my books and headed towards the principal’s office.

My mom was there with a furious look on her face, sitting on a small bench with her legs crossed. Next to her was the principal, sitting in a high backed leather chair that made him seem even more powerful. I saw papers everywhere, and there was a faint smell of BOSS cologne. Suddenly the room seemed gloomier and slightly colder as I realized they were staring at me.



“I can explain.” I blurted.


“Don’t talk. You have taken advantage of Gretchen’s allergy to shea butter, and have purposely tried to cover her in eggs.” He growled intensely.

“But, she abused me too, in fact she started it.” I defended. How can I get in major trouble, but Gretchen is coming off as an innocent victim? This can’t be happening to me.

“I don’t care who started what, you are suspended from school for a day to reflect on your actions.” He scolded. “I want to see a 1,000 word essay on my desk on Friday explaining how your actions were so inappropriate.”

“Young missy, you’re grounded for a week.” My mom also hissed.

Most people might say this was a sucky day, but in my opinion, it was a victory. I strode out of the room, and without saying anything; I shut the door behind me.
I reached out my hand to throw my gum away, when I looked down at the trashcan. Just lying there I saw the remains of six broken eggs. I smiled.





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