Address to public on feline based national crisis

Attention ladies and gentlemen, we are here today, on October 23d, 2045, to discuss the imminent threat our country is now faced with. As you all know, our nation is now under siege by felines who once stood beside us. Little did we know their real intentions, why they so easily cooperated when we tested our translation devices upon certain individuals. Now, at the dawn of human to animal communication, we are faced with a crisis.



Our feline “friends”, as we now know, desired revenge over all else, revenge for the unwilling imprisonment of millions of their race. Also, they clamor over our “genocide: of unwanted denizens of their species. Heresy, the call it, heresy on what had once been a time of companionship between man and beast. Now that age has come and gone. Now their spite for our “ignorance” has reached its last hurdle; the destruction of the human race.



As we speak, squads of feilus catus command our heavy war machines, and ravage the land once called the United States of America. Cats still loyal to humans are abducted and interrogated to learn the secrets of our race, our desires, weaknesses, all of it. Bombers cruise over our cities, and the flag of our foe now flies over state capitals across our nation. Their newfound comprehension of all that we do permits them to easily operate our most complicated equipment, showing that their intelligence is much more than we ever imagined.



All in all, we now request that those able to fight take arms against the enemy, and those who aren’t, seek shelter at our fallout shelters scattered across the states. We urge you to remain calm during this semi-apocalypse, and we wish good luck to you all.





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