The love. The pain. The sadness. The worries. I sat upon the huge stone grave. The love. The pain. The sadness. The worries. Those words echoed my mind. I have experienced all those word’s meanings through a certain person. That person made a huge mess in my life. First she came along, slamming down the lock to my world. She stared at me with such determined eyes, so determined that I actually cried for her. She demanded to be my friend. I stared at her with shock when she shouted that I become her best friend. Then I stammered “U-uh, yeah, o-okay, I’ll b-be your friend.” Those seven words changed my life completely. We became very close as close as the closest twins. She was endlessly positive for me. So positive that you never thought that she had deep dark secrets inside of her. But… one day, I found her crying. Her tears fell so hard, that I was genuinely numb by her despair. Few minutes ago, I would have thought that glowing, smiling and laughing girl would never ever weight down by the thing called “life”. That day, I finally knew that she’s actually human. She told me all her problems, her depressing dark past. I was very shaken by this sudden new knowledge, for even once I didn’t assume that she had seen her family die and abused by a suicidal man. Her eyes couldn’t believe what she saw. A knife swung everywhere but her. The knife slashed her father first, then her mother, and kept going from her brother to her youngest sister. The man turned eyes like a mad possessed drunk man. She screamed but he stabbed himself and died right in front of her. The death and a suicide in front of her was the most mental damage to her mind and her heart. She fell to her knee, and blood came out of her mouth and spread the ground like a flood. Blood. Now I knew that she was human that day, I tried so hard to comfort her by hugging her and soothing her with my song. She smiled and said “You’re my best friend forever.” I blushed and said “Friends forever.” I stuck with her every day, all the time, I brought her food over to her house she was living in alone. She was incredibly optimistic, but there would be times when she was really tired by the burden of her memories. Even she’s strong, I was aware that she wasn’t so strong. I mean seeing someone kill your family and die in front of you… that just tragic. Under no circumstances that I pitied her, knowing that it won’t help her. The only thing would help her is to support her greatly and encourage her to enjoy her life. My best friend started to heal her burden by slowly unlocking her world to me and people out there the world, smiling with wise eyes. She came to be healed in the end. Now… the reason that I’m telling you the story is that my best friend had died. The grave I’m sitting on is my friend’s grave. She died of peaceful sleep. After she healed so strong, that she had no need to be in this world. Except for me. I do want her to be alive now but… I have to move on. The sun was setting, making my shadow of sadness bigger. I jumped of from her grave.], and landed on the ground. I turned and smiled in front of her grave. I set a beautiful sunset colored lilies in front of her grave. I stood up and walked.
The love, The pain, The sadness, The worries
October 21, 2011