Crush 2

October 20, 2011
I thought that I wouldn’t see Her again after Her brother graduated but eventually I started high school and She was still there. I actually didn’t know till I decided to join the schools GSA. I didn’t tell my friends about it because I didn’t want them to question me about why I wanted to go. To be honest I just went because I wanted somewhere I could feel safe and not worry about what others would think of me.

And there She was, talking with the girl who looked like she was the president of the club. They smiled and told me to make myself comfortable because there were still a good ten minutes before the meeting started. So I did watching as more and more people filled the room. But what caught my attention was this one guy who was always with Her, at first I thought they might be dating but then I saw the way She kept him at a distance and thought better of it.

When the meeting did start the first thing we did was go around the room and give our name and grades. That’s how I finally learned Her name it was Ember and she was a senior so this would be her last year.

It took me awhile but I finally decided to talk to Her. Well, She talked to me, She smiled and everything asking me how my day was going. Then said something about me not talking that much, I gave a comment back, here and there. Then that guy came in all but demanding her attention in a quiet way, redirecting the conversation till he was the only thing she focused on. Again she turned back to me, and I could only think that maybe there was hope for us.

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FlaviusJacobiusOssummuss said...
Nov. 14, 2011 at 1:33 pm
I'll be honest, I liked the poem better.  I think if you had been able to spend more time on this, it could have been really great.  That said, this is still pretty good.
RyanTyler replied...
Nov. 16, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Thank you. I'll keep that in mind.)
lucygirl26 said...
Nov. 12, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Okay, so I read the poem first and then this. To be honest, I thought the poem was better (though I did agree with those who said it should be a story) because to me it seems like you're trying to get everything out in a short amount of space. Like you'll run out of paper or something. I would pay more attention to details and weave your emotions a little more into the story rather than just telling what happened. I kind of liked the unique idea of capitalizing Her and She, it was interesting. I... (more »)
RyanTyler replied...
Nov. 14, 2011 at 11:58 am
It did help. And yes it was rushed. I lost power when that storm hit CT and was trying to get something posted before I had to leave my uncles house and internet. I'm working on another one to go with it, and it should be a lot better.
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