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What He** Feels Like

The rain poured through me, sprinkling onto the ground under me. Chills swept through my translucent body as I stumbled towards shelter. I had to keep going, to keep running somewhere. Away from that thick black shadow that nearly enveloped me two days ago. The scariest moment of my life; even though I am no longer alive. I wish I lived in those horrible teenage years I had dreaded my entire fourteen years. Dead. I hate that word and completely detest it. The faded people around me pass by, and don’t feel my presence. I envy them, and their normal everyday lives. I miss feeling warmth on my skin and feeling tears run down my cheeks. I miss being on emotional roller coasters and getting chocolate wasted during ‘that time of the month.’ A sigh of relief escapes my aching throat as I stand under the roof of a library. Vaguely do I remember this place, but I know that I had been here before as a mortal. The scent of my Jessie perfume still lingered in the place.







Sweet child whisper
In my ear that you love me

That you’re near

As your cheek is tickled By your daddy’s silver whiskers

Baby girl don’t you cry

We’re all meant to die

But remember my words









And let sorrow reign for awhile








As you remember your sweet daddy



Your closest pal






The melody swiftly echoed and cried with the wind. I heard my father’s voice underneath the rumbling of receding storm clouds. A shiver flew up my back side. I choked on invisible tears, even though I could not cry. ‘Daddy why did you leave me down here?’ I spoke softly, and waited for him to reply. But I already knew the answer. Suicide doesn’t get you into dreamland. That black shadow was going to catch me sooner or later, and I would be trapped in a world of despair. Not for a few days, not for a semester, but for eternity. I heard my daddy’s soft whispers as the wind whipped through me. The breeze inside me was unbearable and I trembled violently.

Darling I told you not to mourn








We were supposed to meet again someday







You came too soon; a sin it was indeed







You can’t take back that bullet








You can’t take back the pain









Baby girl you’re gonna’ have to succumb







To that deadly shadow; and live in limbo







For God only knows how long you’ll be in there






I love you; and I long to see your face







I long to hold you in a tight embrace








And never let you go










I’m sorry to say that I’ve sent the shadow







To rob you of your last breath of immortality






Sweet Bethany I long for you

My chest was stricken with panic. There it was the shadow! Speeding towards me in a black blanket. I could almost hear it sneering and roaring; tasting my immortal blood on its desperate tongue. My legs attempted to bolt away from danger; my human instincts had not left me. But I moved very slowly, and it was like a nightmare where your running and you aren’t getting anywhere. My head snapped around to see if it was still behind me. And there it was a gaping hole in the atmosphere. The translucent hairs on the nape of my neck became straight and stood aware of the thing behind me. I stood frozen, staring at the gaping hole in front of me. I could feel a cold wind begin to pull on me like a vacuum. Trying to suck me in. My arms flung through the air as I tried to grasp on to anything. But I knew that every object would go straight through me. It was pulling me closer, and I couldn’t resist the hypnotizing sensation. I felt warmness on my skin. The first time in almost forever. And I could taste something sweet; an amazing burst of flavors swarming on my tongue. I let it pull me in, and I fell into darkness. But I was blinded by the magnificent thrill of feeling human again. Wonderful fragrances invaded my nostrils and every flavor that existed rested on my tongue. I wanted to stay here forever. In this warmth and comfort. But as I got closer to my unknown destination, the air blazed hotter and hotter, until I could fill smoke wavering in my lungs. The orange glow of fire could be seen under me and I knew where I was. This is what he** feels like…



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