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Have you ever missed someone so much even though you’ve never met him? Have you dreamed about someone, imagining every detail of his face, picturing each gesture and expression, even though you’ve never seen him in real life? Have you ever loved someone wholeheartedly even though he’s a stranger, and you don’t even know him?
I miss him every day, every minute even though I’ve never been introduced to him. I dream about him every night even though I’ve never seen his face. I love him with my whole heart even though we haven’t met.
He is my brother, Joshua, and I’m trying to find him.
In all honesty, Joshua is my half- brother. After having me and losing my father, my mom sought comfort in the arms of another man. Soon, she felt a new life growing inside her but, she had a huge amount of turmoil already in her life; so she made the decision to give this next child up for adoption. So, on the day Joshua entered the world, he was given to a new family who welcomed him into their lives.
For a couple years, my mother received letters and pictures updating her on Joshua’s life. He was growing into quite the handsome child. Outstandingly smart and talented, too. All the while, our lives continued. My mother won my father back and soon, I had another little brother and a sister too. It was about the time of my brother’s birth that the letters about Joshua stopped arriving.
It wasn’t until I was eleven that my mother actually told me about Joshua. I was shaken to my core. I couldn’t believe it. I had another brother! At first, I was so angry at my mother for keeping this a secret but soon, I understood why she had. I had been too young to have that explained to me, to understand.
But now, I understand. Now, I know. Now, I can’t forget.
Joshua has been in my thoughts constantly since that day. Eight years later, and I still think about him every single day.
After all this time, my mother has wondered about her lost son. And finally, after all these years, she’s going to look for him.
Now, my dream can come true. I might get to see him. I might get to meet him, to hug him and tell him I love him.
Joshua, we’re looking for you. And, God willing, we will find you. Someday.