A song

September 15, 2011
By , Houston, TX
Noah
Well, it all starts with a song for me. It had been years. 7 years to be exact. I had known him for seven years and this was the first year he even noticed I was alive. We talked occasionally, and I knew I liked him. I knew I liked him for seven years. I had to say something this year, it was senior year. It starts on a Friday. This was a Friday that will forever be talked about as the single most important day that happened in my life.

"Noah Lowinski.." the voice in front of the curtains bellowed. I braced myself. One shot, one shot, only one shot. I walked onto the stage.. the crowd was silent. They all stared at me, expecting something. Even they didn't know what to expect. I was frozen, a foot from the mic and frozen. C'mon doofus open your mouth. I was getting ready to turn around, get off the stage, go home, and not say anything.. Not do anything. Maybe watch some movie I've seen a million times, eat ice cream and cry. But then I saw him. Every bone in my body wanted to leave, but every fragment of my broken heart wanted to stay on that stage and sing the stupid song. I stepped up to the mic.

"Um...hey." I spoke into the mic. Dumb*ss, you step up to the mic and all you can say is 'um....hey' ? I shifted nervously, side to side as I spoke into the mic while holding my guitar in a death grip. "I have a song to sing..about someone,a guy, that I'm pretty sure I'm in love with." Then without thinking, without a cue, without addressing the fast paced thumping in my chest I began to strum my guitar. I scanned the crowd, until my eyes met his. I began sing,

I have my heart set on someone,
You've got my heart strings undone,
Skipping beats when I see you 'cross the street,
While you're smiling at me boy,
I love that smile aimed at me boy,

I'm a man of little words,
But I want these to be heard,
Please know that,
My song begins and ends with you,
I'll turn the world around to make your dreams come true,
These empty verses have the fullest promise,
I'm telling you,
You're the dream that I want to pursue...

Before I knew it the song was over, and I was staring at the crowd again..No one clapped, they all just stood there, kind of, shocked. All I could hear at first were murmurs in the crowd..'He's gay?'..'F*g.'.....'Who in the h*ll does he think he's singing to?'...'He better not be singing to my boyfriend, or I'll cut his..'....'Wait, isn't that the pastor's son?' Then I came to a sudden realization...this song didn't just mean me telling a guy I loved him, I had just come out of the closet. In song. My heart stopped, I felt like I got hit in my chest. What was worse was, I didn't see him, anywhere. But then, as my knees started to weaken, I heard a noise. In my screwed up state is sounded like thumping.. But when my mind cleared I realized what it was.. It was clapping! And I could see the one person who was clapping; standing in the back, leaned against the wall, smiling. It was him.





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