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Look Up For Me This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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“Do you ever get that feeling?”
Luke glances up from his chemistry textbook.

“What? What feeling?”

“You know. That feeling.”

“Wh--oh.”

“No. Not that. Just … I don't know … never mind.”

Luke drops his book on the wooden table separating us. He's finally focused on me, which is all I have wanted since the moment we met a year ago. I feel a burning heat trickle down my neck, and I hate myself for that. I feel exposed; when your own skin reveals your true feelings, you can never hide.

“No. Go on. What feeling?”

“Well …” I decide to ask him, “Do you ever feel like you're sitting in a crowded room – I mean, not like claustrophobic crowded but like crowded enough to feel a little uncomfortable – and everyone is talking and you scream. You scream so loud you feel like the sound reverberations might cause your throat to explode. You just keep screaming, but no one even looks up. Do you ever feel like that?”

“Are you asking if I ever feel invisible?”

He isn't listening to me.

“No. Do you ever feel like that? Like what I just described.” Luke's eyes roll around in their sockets. He says “no” firmly, then picks up his chemistry textbook.

I say, “Oh, okay,” but before the second syllable can even escape my mouth, Luke cuts me off.

“You know, you're really weird. And you say ‘like' a lot.” He gives me a look that I interpret as: I knew you were weird, but don't be weird around me.

So I do something I've only dreamed about doing, something I wish I'd always had the courage to do.

“You know, I feel like that sometimes,” I say. “I feel like I'm screaming, and no one looks up. But I think everyone feels like that. Sometimes, you just gotta scream.”

He isn't listening to me. His eyes are glued to chemistry, and he ­doesn't even like chemistry. I'm tired of this bullsh*t.

So I scream. And he looks up.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 46 comments. Post your own now!

UponThePage said...
Jun. 9 at 2:15 pm
Beautiful. A simple exchange turned into a moment I'm sure all of us can relate to. Your ending is particularly powerful; great use of syntax. And it's true what you say here. People seldom notice those who stand before them until we scream. And then people can't help but look up. Keep up the great work :)
 
TrishDestinyzThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 1 at 9:44 am
This is truly amazing, not only because its something most of us could really relate too, also your effortless writing styles are stunning!
 
bookmouse said...
Dec. 5, 2013 at 8:42 pm
Your last sentence made my heart sto
 
Alex_MacThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 3, 2013 at 11:35 am
You have a clean writing style that I really enjoyed reading. It was a lovely piece that I'm sure everyone can relate to.
 
JulieKate This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 23, 2013 at 3:11 pm
Wow thank you! Very kind of you to say. Thanks for reading :)
 
DifferentTeenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 15, 2012 at 7:39 pm
Guh. I hate being the only person that doesn't understand something. I may not know what was going on, but it was wonderfully written. And I loved the ending no matter what.
 
DifferentTeenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 15, 2012 at 7:43 pm
“No. Do you ever feel like that? Like what I just described.” Luke's eyes roll around in their sockets. He says “no” firmly, then picks up his chemistry textbook. I don't really get this part. Why did he roll his eyes and say no? Did he answer the question for her cause he felt like she didn't understand? I got this vibe from Luke, he just seemed like a jerk.

 
 
JulieKate This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 23, 2013 at 3:10 pm
I based Luke on a boy I knew in high school. I made him roll his eyes and answer her question because I wanted to show how dismissive Luke is of her. He doesn't even want to think about her point of view, and the "no" just cuts off any development of conversation. I wrote their conversation this way because I often experienced the same kind of dismissiveness from this boy. I hope that helps!
 
JulieKate This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 23, 2013 at 3:12 pm
Thanks for reading :)
 
xWritingGeek13x said...
Jun. 29, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Wow! This piece is great.
 
JulieKate This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 23, 2013 at 3:12 pm
Thanks for reading! :)
 
originalityisdeadd said...
Jun. 27, 2012 at 2:18 pm
wow, this is awesome!
 
XpurplemacaroniX This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 25, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Wow, I love this so much. It's just such an awesome peice. And the thing is, I couldn't even tell you WHY I like it. Like normally there's one or a few particular reasons I have for liking a peice, but with this one I just can't find the right words for it, which is weird because I'm a writer too, so words are generally pretty easy for me =P You're writing's just really relatable and understandable, not all overly complicated. It just gives off a certain feeling, one that I can't describe. So bo... (more »)
 
JulieKate This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 25, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Thank you so much! :)
 
livhappy1 said...
Jun. 23, 2012 at 8:06 pm
I REALLY like this! Partly because I actually do get that feeling, but mostly because your writing style is easy to follow, yet sophisticated. You are a talented writer- I can totally see myself reading a novel written by you.
 
JulieKate This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 23, 2012 at 8:35 pm
This is so nice and sweet! Thank you for your positive comment :)
 
4qui133 said...
Jun. 20, 2012 at 10:30 pm
your ending is perfect. I've felt that way before. Keep writing.
 
yournamehere said...
Jun. 20, 2012 at 8:58 pm
I love it. This is the first poem were Iactually said aloud "Thats great!"
 
awesomeaugust This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 20, 2012 at 6:36 pm
I LOVE this! the protagonist is really strong and the dialogue is great too
 
MayaaMagdy said...
Jun. 19, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Awesome :)) i love it 
 
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