Diary | Teen Ink

Diary

August 11, 2011
By Anonymous

July 24th 1944
Seth Roger Philips

Well, um, my mom bought me this diary for me to get more in touch with my feelings I guess. Everything my parents’ do seem like they’re trying to get to my sensitive side. I don’t really see myself as one of those meathead jocks that don’t care about anyone. I like to see myself as kind of the cliché loner kid in high school. The reason they think I’m not in touch with my feelings is because I like to not show my emotions as much as other kids. She thinks its unhealthy. I just see it as who I am. Like sometimes, my parents’ are so controlling of my life. Some days my mom won’t even let me pick what I want to wear. It’s getting kind of ridiculous. Inside of my closet door I have a money jar and a countdown calendar until I move out. I want to move out so bad sometimes before I go to sleep I pray to god to give me a break from my parents. Some of the things I think about make me feel like I’m bound to go to h*ll. I don’t even believe in h*ll, but I just can’t shake the feeling if billions of people support the same idea there has to be some trace of believability in the theory, right? I just don’t want to live a life where I’m just a jerk to everyone and eventually end up in h*ll. So most of the time I try and keep myself from doing bad things and just being a good kid. Not a goody two-shoes that does everything for Jesus, but just generally a good kid.

My mom wants me to be a therapist when I grow up. It’s what my dad and my grandpa and a bunch of other people behind them have been doing. Philips wellness center in Roseburg Oregon, ever heard of it? I don’t really want to be a therapist. I don’t really want to be a part of American society. When I get older I want to hike up to Canada and just kind of wander around and try to find a place where I could belong. I know, I know it sounds like a mainstream movie plot, but it’s but I’ve genuinely wanted for as long as I can remember. Although I do respect SOME of the things the American government has accomplished and gived to people searching for “the land of the free” or whatever. I find that after the countless atrocities that they have committed over the years to other nations and even it’s own people I couldn’t live with myself living in a country where people could just push that out of their conscience or not even know about it. It seems completely backwards.

Well Diary, I guess, as lame as that sounds, my hand is really tired and I have to study for my test tomorrow.
Have fun not having responsibilities
Seth.



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