Diary

By , Raleigh, NC
July 24th 1944
Seth Roger Philips

Well, um, my mom bought me this diary for me to get more in touch with my feelings I guess. Everything my parents’ do seem like they’re trying to get to my sensitive side. I don’t really see myself as one of those meathead jocks that don’t care about anyone. I like to see myself as kind of the cliché loner kid in high school. The reason they think I’m not in touch with my feelings is because I like to not show my emotions as much as other kids. She thinks its unhealthy. I just see it as who I am. Like sometimes, my parents’ are so controlling of my life. Some days my mom won’t even let me pick what I want to wear. It’s getting kind of ridiculous. Inside of my closet door I have a money jar and a countdown calendar until I move out. I want to move out so bad sometimes before I go to sleep I pray to god to give me a break from my parents. Some of the things I think about make me feel like I’m bound to go to h*ll. I don’t even believe in h*ll, but I just can’t shake the feeling if billions of people support the same idea there has to be some trace of believability in the theory, right? I just don’t want to live a life where I’m just a jerk to everyone and eventually end up in h*ll. So most of the time I try and keep myself from doing bad things and just being a good kid. Not a goody two-shoes that does everything for Jesus, but just generally a good kid.

My mom wants me to be a therapist when I grow up. It’s what my dad and my grandpa and a bunch of other people behind them have been doing. Philips wellness center in Roseburg Oregon, ever heard of it? I don’t really want to be a therapist. I don’t really want to be a part of American society. When I get older I want to hike up to Canada and just kind of wander around and try to find a place where I could belong. I know, I know it sounds like a mainstream movie plot, but it’s but I’ve genuinely wanted for as long as I can remember. Although I do respect SOME of the things the American government has accomplished and gived to people searching for “the land of the free” or whatever. I find that after the countless atrocities that they have committed over the years to other nations and even it’s own people I couldn’t live with myself living in a country where people could just push that out of their conscience or not even know about it. It seems completely backwards.

Well Diary, I guess, as lame as that sounds, my hand is really tired and I have to study for my test tomorrow.
Have fun not having responsibilities
Seth.





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