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Diary of a Psycho - Awake and Bleeding 7/03/11
Huh. My mind came up with a new way to torture itself.
I can't dream at all. I don't think I'll ever even daydream! How can you daydream when your night dreams are taken away? It's still a sort of dream.
Anyways, I'm now hurting in more than one way. And it's all because my mind seems to have a mind of its own, like I can't control it or something. This mind of mine decided yesterday that it not only likes to cut itself, but that it likes girls, too.
What is wrong with me?
I guess I can daydream, because this thing in my head (I'm not sure if I can call it a mind) came up with this ridiculous fantasy.
It settled on the lead singer of my favorite band - Amy Lee.
Why would it be anyone else?
Good, I love Evanescence. It's just the sort of music I need - the guitars sound so vicious, it's like they could tear you apart, and the piano is so...so...
I dunno how to put it besides one word - no, wait, two. Beautiful and ethereal.
And Amy's vocals... Oh my god, they could make anyone fall in love with her!
Am I Anyone?
Is that who I am?
Not just a girl who's literally lost her mind and can't even remember if she has a name?
I guess that is who I am.
"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken... Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to..."
I might have something to think about now, other than how to further tear myself apart.
Now I know what I'll call myself.
I am Anyone now.
Anyone has resolved that she will never sleep again and also, she needs a sharper shard of glass. The one I have is blunt.
No, I'm not broken.