Diary of a Psycho - Sound Asleep

August 10, 2011
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I study the way my own mind works.
Like, the way it doesn't let me fall asleep. As soon as I start to drift off, it realizes what's happening, and I jolt back to consciousness.
This mind of mine is very strange, I can't quite figure out why it decides to torture itself. Coming up with dreams of delusional love... Maybe that's why I can't sleep - because I'm afraid I'll dream of impossible love again.
Why is it that I'm so hopelessly romantic?

I can never answer that question, seeing as how I can't stop obsessing over my latest fantasy.
Do I go for help? Do I even need it?
I do think I need the help. I might destroy myself... Lying to myself every day, saying I'll make that dream come true tomorrow. Drown me in my own lies and tears that I cry because I know nothing I say is true.
But I don't look for the help. I don't want it. I don't want to be locked away, chained in a place for crazy people, though that's where I belong.
There goes my mind again... Torturing itself. I put myself where I don't belong and I don't want to be where I should.

I'll try to fall asleep again. I'd love to dream again of love... Comfort myself in sleep.


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