Time.

August 19, 2011
Custom User Avatar
More by this author
Time. It ticks always, forever lurching forward. At times, there's not enough. At others, too much. But it really never changes, no matter how slow or fast it appears to be moving. It's constant. Like a steady drumbeat that goes on forever, it continues on. When all else surrounding it ceases to exist, time will remain.
It's similar to a heartbeat. No person has control over it. It exists to serve one purpose and one purpose only. Thump. Thump. Tick. Tick. Their pulses give order to life, creating a rhythm that cannot be broken.
But, time is very different from a heartbeat in one particular area: a person can choose to end his life. He holds the power to stop his heartbeat, killing the pulse in his body that created such a sense of order and security. All of that can be ended by his choice.
But, he cannot end time.
Time is ruthless. It never stops, always tolling onward in some way or form. Time shows no sympathy or mercy with those who seek to end it. It cares for nothing of a person's struggles and heartache.
It continues to tick.
And, no matter how much a person tries to plead and somehow reason with time, ask it to stop for just the slightest second, nothing changes with time. It painfully ticks, like a purple bruise that doesn't seem to go away. The person can beg, but it is pointless. He could have the most broken heart or shattered life. He could just need time to stop for a minute, to let him catch his breath. He could ask for complete the non-existence of time, wishing he could slowly fall away into nothingness.
Time wouldn't care. Time forces him to continue marching on, not pausing to rest but simply dragging his feet behind him, trying to finish the race. He races forward until exhaustion consumes him, and even then he continues.
Will time beat the best of him?
There is no end.
Tick. Tick.





Join the Discussion

This article has 12 comments. Post your own now!

RoseOnFire said...
Aug. 25, 2011 at 9:03 pm
This was awesome! I loved how it was short, yet powerful. It made me think. Please check out my story if you get the chance.
 
rage_against_the_machine said...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 11:37 pm
Woah, this is cool. Kinda made me feel helpless, in a way. Powerless. Nice.
 
Hazel-daisy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 5:40 pm
i really love this! i think everybody has those moments when you just want to pause time or even undo time. This made me thnik, and i like that! :)
 
InPurpleInk said...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 11:44 am

This is so great!  Great description, spelling, and grammar.  I only have a few criticisms:

"At times, there's not enough." Just a suggestion: because the subject is time, using the word "times" this early on seemed (to me, anyway) to look a bit redundant.  Maybe try "On some occasions," or something like that.

"...second, nothing changes with time."  I would cut out "with time" because you use the same phrase earlier in the same sentence.  It's a bit re... (more »)

 
dancemaniac replied...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 9:27 pm
thanks for the feedback! i'll keep that in mind(:
 
Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 4:17 am
This really made me think. A lot. You were able to say so much with so little words. Excellent word choice and excellent story. I love it. :)
 
CarrieAnn13 said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 8:51 pm
Wow, just wow.  You describe time perfectly here and your grammar and spelling are excellent!  Amazing work!
 
dancemaniac replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 8:57 pm
thank you so much!
 
Eastep said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 8:33 pm

There are no grammar errors I noticed on the first reading, and I loved the way you narrated the story.

 

The vagueness of the heartbroken man lets me fill the role with whoever I want, so that in my opinion, is a plus to the story.

I couldn't decide if this was a poem or not, but I do know that I like it. I hope to see more written like this.

 
dancemaniac replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 8:58 pm
thank you so much!
 
paige14 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 8:23 pm
This was pretty good. I liked the idea of it, comparing time to a heartbeat. But it seemed....awkward in places. I'm not completely sure why though. Some of the sentences just didn't flow quite right. Overall, a good message and story. I liked it.
 
dancemaniac replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 8:49 pm
Thanks! I agree actually(: My next project is to try and fix it!
 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback