Broken, my heart breaks again and again with each sharp breath. My emotions are overwhelming, but i don’t dare show them to anybody. No one would understand. Moving the corners of my mouth in an upwards position seems like the hardest thing i could ever possibly have to do. People are watching my reaction ready to silently mock me as the tears drip down my face, bringing clumps of my mascara with them. Whispers start to surround me. I blink quickly to shield the water from pouring down on me. I quickly conjure up something in my head to say that will make any sense at all. I lift my eyes from the ground and our gazes meet. For a moment i see sympathy in the eyes i am looking at, but everything suddenly changes to giggles and laughs and i hate them all. I can almost hear the words come out of my mouth to say as a cleaver response, but i realize i am tongue tied. I get ready to turn around and walk away. I take a step from the boy whose comments will now haunt me every time i grab a slice of pizza or eat that small cone. My face quickly whips around so the only faces i see are those of strangers who have no idea what has just happened. I try to walk at a calm pace, so that it does not seem like i am running away from a conversation, i am merely too mature to listen to what they have to say. I close my eyes and i can’t stop the tears from running down my face. I begin to run. I begin to run fast. I look down and realize my hands have been placed on my stomach. Have they been there the whole time? I wonder. Did those people see me holding my stomach, realizing the fact that what they said what true?
this is sad
June 23, 2011