The adrenaline rush was so intense; I didn’t even feel the small grey bullet enter my body. I was running faster than I had in my entire life. I was scared, but not really sure of what, my mind was blank. All I could hear was my heart, screams, and the blood rushing out of my body.

The faster I drove, the better I felt. Being late was something I’d been doing a lot lately. Being on the swim team was more of a hassle then and an enjoyment for me. But seeing my mom’s face when I had barely made the team made all the hard practices and little time actually competing in meets all just a little better.

Just as I walked in the door, there was disappointment, looking me in the face once again. The look seemed to be forever plastered on the face of my parents. Sadly I felt there was nothing in my power that could change it, even though I was reason for the inevitable look.

“Where have you been, swim practice ended two hours ago”, my parents said both in chime as if they had practiced what to say.

“At a friend’s house” I lied.

“Oh? Do you have some friends from school, do they swim?” my mother said in a pleased tone, I hadn’t heard in a while.

It was sad how excited my mother got over something as trivial as me actually have friends to hang around with, only if she had known what I was really doing. I took a quick sip of vodka I had in my water bottle, and the feelings of guilt melted away, I was the daughter my mother had always had wanted and I forgot about what I had done only hours ago.

“Did you eat with your friends?” my mother asked.

“Yeah”, I quickly replied.

“Well probably not surprising to you the rest of your family has eaten; you’ve been late almost every night this week.” my mom said in the tone I hated and I knew what was coming next, a lecture.

After the whole lecture about how I need to come home and eat dinner at home while I’m swimming because if I want to get anywhere, like her I should. Next came the yelling about grades, my grades weren’t too bad, but they could be better and she defiantly reminded me of that. That’s when my sisters and dad started complaining there was no ice cream to go with the apple pie my mother just pulled out of the oven, that’s when I thought to myself, this is the perfect opportunity to convince my parents I wasn’t all bad.

“Mom I could go pick up some ice cream to go with that delicious pie if you want?” I said.
“Yes!” my sisters both screamed with delight.
“That would be nice, but if you could pick up some milk for tomorrow that be good.” My mother blandly replied and my father never lifted his eyes from his paper.

As soon as I entered the car the quiet was very calming, darkness setting around me as it lightly started to rain, it seemed to wash away all the hostile words my mother had said minutes before. I turned the radio to my normal station and a song I hadn’t heard came on. My buzz from the vodka had washed away and I let the music set in as I pulled out of the drive way.

As soon as I saw the bright neon sign of the “Save Mart” I found a parking spot in the back not near many other cars. I started walking into the store. I grabbed a basket and walked in and was greeted by an employee wearing the green smock with numerous pins and a large nametag with the name Karen in bold font. She handed me a large flyer with the stores particular specials for that week. I’m not exactly sure why but I loved going to the grocery store. The organization of all the long rows of boxes, bottles and jars put a sense of calm over me, probably because my life was hectic and fanatic and the order of the store made me feel tranquil. I liked looking at all the fruits and vegetables with their vibrant colors and unique scents that filled the produce section. I passed cakes, cookies, and breads enjoying the sights of the distinctive decorations and the sound of my cart rolling on the cold tile floor. I felt the chill and heard the hum of the refrigerators in the segment of chilled foods. I looked for the gallon of skim milk, the pink label and tossed it under my cart. I maneuvered my cart around a display of triskets and opened the door of the refrigerator containing the beer, and I bent down and grabbed a six pack. I then reached into my pocket and felt around to make sure I still had my fake id, another perk of being on the swim team.

I slowly pushed the cart into an isle including frozen peas and carrots on one side and the ice cream on the other. I found the cheapest brand of vanilla ice cream and headed by the meat and deli branch of the store, to return to the front. That’s when I heard the sound of yelling and I froze. I could see a woman holding a small child running toward the side exit near a small café in the store, gun shots ran out, I fell to the ground. Going on all instinct I got up started to run, but I couldn’t even see the front of the store yet. I didn’t even feel my feet on the small green tiles of the café, each step I took the higher I felt off the ground. Then suddenly I was on the floor I didn’t even remember falling, my eyes felt to tense to open, had I made it out of the store? When I finally could remember how to open my eyes, I was petrified. I felt like a fish out of water, I couldn’t
breathe and I was thrashing around trying to find my breathe in a small pool of my own blood. At that point I still hadn’t realized what had happened. The more I struggled, the calmer and less chaos I could hear and see around me. My face was cool against the tiles of the café and I could now only hear my heart and a small pitter patter of rain on the roof. I looked at the legs of tables and chairs as reality started to fade, and my thoughts oddly reverted to my parents. I had always wanted to make them proud, it was the challenge of almost my whole young adult life. That’s when I started to panic as my eyes stared to glaze over. I tried to remember a time I was happy with my parents, my mind searched for a memory I was yearning for. I tried to blink, yet my mind still tried to search for what it was looking for. As my eyes closed there, there was the image I needed to see so badly. Calm fell over my fragile body. I saw my father swinging me by my small arms as a child, my sisters weren’t born yet. My mom was calling us in on a mid summers day with two glasses of lemonade in her hands. The pure joy I felt during that particular moment, made me seem to forget that I overlooked the fact I couldn’t open my eyes again.