An Apple that Fell Far From the Tree

June 3, 2011
By , Espoo, Finland
Doctor White!
Mrs. Thomas, it’s a pleasure.
No, doctor. The pleasure is all on my side.
How can I help you?
I think my daughter needs surgery. (uncomfortable shuffling of feet)
(shuffling of papers) Do I have a referral? Has she been admitted to County General?
This is the only referral you need, doctor. (places picture on desk)
(Looks at picture of a smiling, twenty something young woman). I see. What can I do for Miss Thomas?
You see, she needs just something little removed from the stomach and from the sides. And perhaps a rib from here. (points at the picture)
And, while you are at it doctor, please place her on the organ transplantation list. She needs a new heart. I am afraid her current one is quite too small. (leans over and whispers) She is still unmarried. (leans back and laughs) Twenty-three, and still not a single man will look at her. At her age I already had a husband and garden. (peal of laughter)
Mrs. Thomas, with all due respect, we do-
Oh, I am not finished, doctor. You are going to have your hands full with Annie. I am getting quite feeble, yes. You see (shuffles in the hand bag). I made you a list. Just so that we don’t forget to fix anything there is to fix in Annie.
(Doctor lowers hands on his desk, helpless)
Her eyes. They could be slightly blue, but not baby blue. A lovely shade of lilacs and sky blue. Hold on, no doctor I would not want you to think I am being vague. No not one slightest bit. I actually looked it up in the Home and Renovation catalogue. Ah, yes. It’s number 364, Angel’s Kiss. And her hair. That should be-(trails a finger on the list)-, number 86, Burnt Caramel- slightly lighter, if you will doctor.
Perhaps we should give your daughter a brain transplant while we are at it, Mrs. Thomas?
Oh yes, please. Make her docile. Annie was never one to listen. (smiles) When can you begin, doctor?

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