The only thing

July 21, 2011
Shoving my way threw the crowd of hundreds and hundreds of people, I fell to my knees and began to gasp helplessly for air~

Five hours later I woke up. Same place, same position I clearly passed out in. Five hours and nobody helped me.
I was bloody. Unsure of if the traces of blood where from being stepped over so many times, or from the lengthy throbbing cut that lay on my arm. I couldn't believe I passed out.
Forcing myself up, standing on my wobbly legs, I felt like a new born fawn.
Except a fawn wouldn't have grabbed the abandoned bottle of Gin, like I did. Chugging it, forcing the burning liquid down my throat seemed like the only Novocaine that would numb the loneliness I felt inside.
When the Gin was down, stumbling my way threw the abandoned parking lot, to the swinging bridge seemed so harmless.
Looking down into the water I saw someone, a dirty, drunk mess with foggy green eyes. I didn't want to believe that was me. But when I realized she was in fact me, I hated myself just as much as everybody else did.
I shouldn't have jumped.
I shouldn't have leaped to my death with an empty bottle of gin in my hands, with the current so strong. Because if I would have waited, just a few minutes more, I would have saw him. The guy who was told I went home but came rushing back when he didn't find me in bed. The guy who'd never forget about me but I, I seemed to always forget about him. I should have waited. Because with a ring in his pocket and A tear streaming down his face, he watched my lifeless body float down stream. With losing the one he loved, taking his own life was the only thing he could do.

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