I am surrounded by trees looking into a cool, clear, blue lake. Silvery fish dart just below the water and catches my eye. I watch it dart about, going on its normal, nightly routine. The smell of damp, crunchy leaves fills my nose and enters my lungs. In the lake you can see all the stars expanding across the water, rippling when the salty water of tears drops from my eyes. The forest so still and silent, it was like any other normal night, for me this night was anything but normal. This is accentuated when I looked at my reflection in the lake; this perfect night ruined. My eyes; blood shot, red, and puffy. My face; smeared with mascara and lipstick. There was mud in my hair, it coated my new shoes and the sparkly dress I was wearing was ripped and torn. I ran deep into the forest, chasing after you. Many times I tripped and fell and twigs ripped my dress, but it was all for you. Why did you leave us? Why did this have to happen? Didn’t you love us enough? You were strong, couldn’t you have waited? Why… Why… WHY? Suddenly, a blurred picture of you standing behind me, touching my shoulder, appears in the lake. I lurch forward, head first into the lake. Slowly I tumble towards the silt on the bottom but I can’t stay here, not with you up there after all. I knew it had to be a dream! I burst forward, out of the water, gasping for air, gasping for my life. I can’t wait until I lay my eyes on you once again. When the muck has finally cleared form my vision I see that this place was just the way I left it. Silent, empty, and dark. As if the world was waiting for my next move, and I crumbled. Holding myself tight as I realized, you are dead. Never again can I hear your laugh, see your smile, or get you back for all the pranks you pulled. Even with all those things never to be so again there is one thing I will always be sure of, no matter what happens you will always be my step-father and I will always love you.
July 8, 2011