Bye Baby Girl

May 27, 2011
Dear Momma’s Girl and Daddy’s Angel,

Words can’t explain the feeling I got when the doctors handed me that little beating heart in the pink blanket. As I held you in my arms your daddy stood over me running his finger over your beautiful little face. His first words were, “Welcome to this world, my pretty little angel.” I looked up at him kissing him on the lips softly. That kiss was a thank you for creating my little baby girl.
The nurses than interrupted our first family moment, “Ma’am we need to know the name of your little miracle,” they said with a smile on their face.
I looked at your father again. I knew the perfect name that fit you.
“Aubree,” I said, “Aubree Sky McCoy.” The smile that lit up your fathers face was breathtaking. See you were born into a family with two parents that loved each other very much. But we were young. Sixteen, when we found out the news that our family was going to start a little sooner than we planned. And seventeen when you were born. So when I gave you your father’s last name he was thrilled.
You were a little shocker. But what’s even more shocking was seeing your daddy cry when he saw you. Every teardrop was a memory that he was going to have from that day. They were all tears of happiness baby girl.
You know, your daddy is the toughest man I know? That day he was speechless though, and overjoyed. You’re lucky to have him. There wasn’t a day that went by where he didn’t touch my stomach, kiss it, and telling you how much he loved you. Everyday before you were born he worked so hard just so you could have the best life when you arrived. Man, does he love you. He loved how he could look in your little pure innocent eyes that had never known sadness or heartbreak. You had a heart that had never known hatred or lies. You were just our innocent little girl. He loved the thought of that and what you would look like when he first got a glimpse of you. And the moment he first saw you I heard him whisper, “perfect.” That you were.
Aubree I’ve carried you in my stomach for nine months. You were a beautiful gift from God that your daddy and I made. Your eyes were the color of caramel and your hair was like a layer of brown feathers. Oh, and your little hands barely wrapped around my finger. Ha! That was your daddy’s favorite part about you. Every time he would try to pull away, you would grasp on to him for dear life. You and your daddy are so much alike in that aspect. You both never want to let go. You also looked like him though. It was like looking at a photograph from when he was a baby. You two were such amazingly cute babies.
Your grandparents were there the day you were born. They all cried, but the grandpa’s had the most tears in their eyes. They would’ve loved you, and spoiled you. I would’ve spoiled you.
Miss. Aubree you were already my life before you were welcomed into this world by everyone else. In some way you were the other half of my heart. I want you to know that you and your daddy are the two most important people in this world to me. Everyday of my life you will be. And everyday of my life I will thank god for you and the chance to have embraced your presence.
Honey I want you to know the doctors came in the hospital room unexpectedly that night. It was exactly 1a.m, which was five hours after I gave birth to you. They told me some not so good news. You see your heart wasn’t beating the way it was suppose to. The beat was to slow, and your oxygen was running low. I wish I could’ve breathed air into your lungs to keep you alive. I would’ve gladly of taken your place, but there was nothing I could do.
So as I sat and tried to figure out how to breathe on my own. Your daddy put his mouth next to my ear and said this prayer.

God,
*You’ve given us this beautiful gift. You gave us a daughter. And having her
wasn’t a responsible decision, but that doesn’t mean were not going to be
responsible parents. Just give us a chance. Give us a chance to make our
wrong a right. Give me the chance to hold my little girl again. Lord please
give me the chance to be the great guy that I have come to be because of her.

And than he paused, and I heard him whisper, “please.” By the end of his prayer we were both in tears. We were holding each other, trying to take our pain away. But nothing could calm our worry because we knew our baby girl was in pain.
Aubree I need you to know that your daddy and I loved you very much. And yes you were born into a family that was still young and not married but you were no mistake. You were our miracle. And we prayed every minute until the doctors stepped in the room for the last time. The time was exactly 3:33 a.m. The day was March 3. And the doctor’s words are still so clearly spoken to my heart.

“I’m sorry Miss. We did everything we could, and we could tell she was fighting to come back to you but she wasn’t strong enough to make it. I’m really sorry.”
I cried Aubree. I cried so much because my baby was gone. Because for those nine months you were in my stomach you became a part of my life. You practically were my life. So now that you’re gone I don’t know what to do. Besides bring strength to the family that you were starting to do.
You have changed the person your father and I have become. You have made us stronger. And you have made us look at love in a different way. You’ll always be our baby girl, whether we can hold you in our arms or not. You’ll always be in our hearts. Everyday we will miss you dearly.

I will love you forever Aubree. Your father and me always will.

Love,

Mommy

P.S I’ll be looking for you in heaven. And I will embrace you like the first time I held you in my arms. I love you Aubree Sky McCoy.





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Odessa_Sterling00 said...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 4:29 pm
This is so bittersweet.  I couldn't stop reading.  You really did a good job.  Can you look at some of my stuff?  Save Me is probably the best one to read.
 
bigdreamsbigheart replied...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 7:20 am

Thanks :))

Thats what I was trying to go for. I re-did it again. And now its named "Baby's First and Last Breath" It's in my work. It has more of a beginning and an end now. :)

I think you would like that one now.

 
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