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You Know Where I Am
Leaving our old house was extremely difficult. Our old house was more like a mansion. The doors taller than nine feet, the fireplaces in every room, and I can’t forget the huge bathrooms, which everyone had their own. A lot of bathrooms are a big deal for a family of seven. Well, now we are a family of six. My husband left me for another younger, beautiful woman. He took the house, the pool, the hot tub, and everything that mattered to our family. He left me with all five kids.
It was time to move our family into a new home. didnt’t want to live close to Todd, my now ex-husband, so I moved my children from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Williamsport is known for its old Victorian mansions. I found the perfect place for my family. Since I’m a lawyer, money wasn’t an issue for us.
My children, Josiah, Isabelle, Brooklyn, Blake, and Cole, are very excited about moving into a new home. Well, at least four of my children are. Josiah is sixteen, and he wants to stay with his dad. I can tell I will have problems with him throughout the move.
As we all walked up the driveway, everyone holding a box, we looked up at our four story Victorian. The house was bricked all the way around. The front of the house had black iron gates to get inside. The pointed tower at the top was what made the home. The big bushes and flowers circled the house in every direction.
“Okay kids, what are you all waiting for? Go pick out your rooms! Each of you should have your own. No fighting!” I said
I loved to watch them run as fast as they could to pick a room. They were like little ants running away from someone who just stepped on their ant pile. They were all beautiful kids. I looked up to every single one of them.
Before I even walked inside I heard sounds of fighting for rooms. I walked up to the second story of the house, and I stood there watching Brooklyn and Isabelle fight for the bigger room.
“I’m older, so I think I deserve the bigger room!” said Isabelle.
“I was here first. You can’t just kick me out!” said Brooklyn.
“Girls, I told you pleased no fighting. Now since this is the biggest room in the house, it’s mine. Problem solved” I said.
“Mom you suck!” said Isabelle.
Brooklyn didn’t say anything. She nodded her head and walked to the next available room. She knows not to fight with her mother.
I walked into my room, and it didn’t feel like a mater bedroom without anyone to share it with. I felt alone. I felt broken. I wanted Todd to be a part of this family; I wanted Todd to move into this house with us. I sat down on the window seat and looked outside. Any person would dream of living in a beautiful house like this one. I wasn’t happy at all. Our whole family was like a show, fake. We were all very unhappy even if we didn’t seem like we were. We would have to learn how to adjust.
“Hey Mom, come check this out! On the fourth story Cole and I found a huge trunk of old letters and junk!” said Blake. I looked at my son, with his shaggy blonde hair, he looked exactly like Todd. Brooklyn, his twin looked like him also. didnt’t even reply to Blake. I just stood up and followed him to the fourth story of our new home.
He was right. This trunk was filled with old notes. It was a variety of different types of letters, love letters, business letters, and friendly letters. Cole and Blake wanted to read them all, but I just didn’t think it was right. They belonged to somebody. I told them to bring them out to the trash. We didn’t need more junk in our house than we already had. They obeyed me, and next thing you know the letters were gone. I looked inside the big trunk to make sure it was empty before throwing it away. Nothing was in the trunk so I called Josiah to throw it out.
We all settled into our house that night. I woke up early the next morning to make breakfast for the kids. I saw that Cole was downstairs crying. It was way too early for him to be awake. Cole was the youngest of the batch. He was nine years old, but he was big at the heart. I walked slowly down the stairs and I saw a letter in Cole’s hand.
“Cole, I thought I told you to throw all the letters out.” I said.
“I did Momma, but I had to use the bathroom, and when I woke up there was this letter sitting on my face. It looks like it was written a long time ago.” said Cole.
“Maybe we just forgot to throw one out; it must have flown out of Blake’s hands.” I said.
I picked up the letter from Cole’s hands. I decided I would read the letter. I don’t know why I did, but for some reason it felt like I had to.
I am writing this letter to you so you know how I feel about you. I miss you terribly. I wish you would leave Hector and come back to me. I will stay in our old house forever. You know where I am. I love you Karen.
Bobby seemed like he had the same problem that I have. He isn’t here though. This letter is probably very aged. I threw away the letter without thinking twice. Cole fell asleep on the sofa while I made breakfast. Blake was the next one downstairs. He also had a note to in his hands.
“Mom, I found this letter in my bed this morning.” said Blake.
“Let me see it.” I said.
It has been a long time since I have talked to you. You didn’t leave Hector yet I am guessing. I’m still waiting. While I wait, I decided to go outside more. I find it helps me deal with my pain. I planted some flowers; I know you enjoy the sight of flowers. You know where I am. I love you Karen.
“I’ll keep this one Blake. Thanks for showing me.”
I realized that this man must have written to this woman countless times. After all my children gave me a letter, I knew I had to find this “Bobby”. I went outside to the garbage and looked through all the letters. They were all written to Karen, with the same closing, “You know where I am”.
Letters had been appearing throughout the week. Nobody knew how they got here, or where they were coming from. Every letter I read, I gained a little more courage in myself to move on from Todd. Bobby seems like he spent his whole life miserable sobbing over Karen. I do not want to ever seem like Bobby to my children.
Weeks passed and we got used of living the way we were. Letters had just stopped coming. We forgot about them until the beginning of the new school year. As the kids were walking to the bus I stumbled along a piece of paper on the sidewalk. I picked the letter up.
Karen, I have waited almost twenty-five years for you to reply to my letters. I do not know why you keep sending them back to me. I have decided to end my life today. I do not deserve to live any longer without you. Goodbye Karen. I love you. You know where I am.
I think everything happens for a reason. I strongly believe that these letters showed upon our doorstep to teach me a lesson to not dwell over anyone. I believe that Bobby is my guardian angel.