Still Young

May 10, 2011
Standing at the top of that one hill at the corner of our vibrant town it all looked so peaceful; There was no one rushing down main street, no children patently waiting for their turn on the shining silver slide and the only lights were that of the towering street light, forgotten porches and the radiant flashes of the lighthouse in the distance. The moon had been out for hours now and the cold had caused my fingers to lose all feeling long ago yet I still had intention of going home. Looking out onto the town had gotten me thinking, as it always did, about the many people who lived crowdedly on this single island and again I couldn’t tear myself from the view. But that dark night I had only one thing on my mind, he was everything to me and I didn’t know what I was going to do without him.
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The dark spot on my pillow kept growing as I lay on my bed with my mind racing with many memories that I could easily do without. I still couldn’t quite put together what had happened in the last twenty-four hours. With my eyes still burning I looked down at the shining white gold heart dangling from my neck. The thought of moment in which I had first seen that perfectly shaped heart only hours before flooded my mind as the vibration of my cell phone made my heart jump. As I slowly reached for the phone I saw the blurry picture of my best friend on the screen. I clicked the little red button and Becca’s smiling face disappears. As I lay my head down on the tear socked pillow all I could think is, how did she let this happen.

Right then even the warm comfort of my bed made me feel as if I was laying under a pile of snow, with all the thoughts that were flowing through my mind, nothing seemed comfortable to me and I feared that nothing would ever feel right to me again. As my shining brown eyes slowly move to the other end of the room and I peer though the icy window I see the light, airless snowflakes drifting slowly to the cold December ground. With every snowflake that passed my mind kept wondering back to the first day I saw him, the first time he made me laugh and the first time he had made me cry. To me it felt like forever as it would to any sixteen year old girl but for me these last three months had been filled with enough memories to last a lifetime.

I knew that all of the emotions that I no longer had the power to fight off weren’t even crossing his mind. He had backed down from that fight a long time ago. He was fighting for me for so long that over time his strength had diminished so much that I was finally victorious, wasn’t I?

With my head still buried in my pillow I was starting to rethink how much I fought against him. He was everything I needed, he was always there when I needed him to be and gone when I didn’t and the way he looked at me, his blue eyes almost changing shades in front of her making that little black freckle in his hypnotizing eyes get brighter and brighter. The thought of his loving stare right then brought me back to the first night we spent together. I was so nervous walking down the pier. Was I early? Did he forget about me? I couldn’t see him anywhere but then as I turned the corner, there he was, standing with one foot on the boat, one on the pier, one hand tight against the mass of the boat and the other outstretched to me. I couldn’t see anything but his bright smile and sun kissed blonde hair pulling me toward him.

The ocean was as calm as a still lake and his arm wrapped around made me never want to move. Sitting there with him on the edge of the boat, everything felt so right but its over now. I guess Ill never truly know why she did it and who knows if our friendship will ever be the same, we were as tight as our skinny jeans and now it just feels like sweatpants. As I was thinking that my phone buzzes again and all I can ask myself is why is Becca still calling but I look down and see a new face, one of a smiling, dark haired boy. Well I guess its all just high school and this tiny island for you and I’m still young.





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