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Lifeless

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"Forgive me lord,for I have sinned" said a voice. I saw a nervous-looking, frail girl come out. She looked at me with her piercing brown eyes under her long eyelashes. She was not conventionally pretty but had her own earthly charm which attracted you to her.

Oh Lord! Has he heard me? His glaring is uncomfortable. I'm not the kind of girl people notice. I go through my life invisible, unseen. I wonder why he is looking at me. Does he know my story?

"Cady, come here at once" called a stern looking woman about 50 years of age. She must be the brown-eyed girl's mother. There was some familiarity in their faces, only the girl's was softer. I turned back and left. So Cadence, I heard, has just moved to this town.

I don't want to go to school today. After what I've done it seems so insignificant. I was normal once, too, but now the normal has vanished. As I walk through the school gates I feel the liveliness around it. I make an imaginary shield around me,cut myself from this happy world and keep walking.

I see Cadence at school. She looks lost,lost in her own world. There is a element of melancholy in her. 

I killed my best friend. My stupidness killed her. I drove drunk after celebrating her 16th birthday. She did not stop me, she was not in her senses herself. I lost control of my car, and now my life. I saw Jennifer lying on the road, covered in blood. I loathe myself. I used to cut myself just to see the warm blood flow. I hate it, I want all of it out. I want to obliterate my very existence. I've murdered an innocent soul. I broke her beyond repair. I feel lifeless without her. I don't want to live, but it may kill my mom. So I've stopped trying to commit suicide.

I look at Cadence leaning against her locker. I know her story. My mom was talking about it the other day. She is the school's counselor. I'm scared for Cady. I want to save her. I want to hold her hand and guide her through this mess. But who am I? Just an unimportant stranger. I feel as if some kind of strings drag me towards her. As if I have known her all my life.I want to catch her when she falls. I'm going to be her concealed support. "Rick, can you help me with this maths sum?" says Tisha. It breaks my train of thought. I turn around.

I wonder why Rick is staring at me. He is one of those popular people at school, easily noticeable. His mum is the school's counselor. I don't really pay attention to people here but he draws attention. I think he knows my story. The school knows. I will not be surprised if everyone here gets to know about it. I don't care much. I wonder if he hates me. I want somebody to abhor me so much that they kill me. If he hates me, I hope his hate is strong enough that he kills me. But I know it's not. He doesn't seem that strong. I have to drag on this comatose existence.



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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

Tanvi said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Thanks guys
 
youknowwho said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Like sakshi said. your way of writing is good. and the storline is nice too.
but you should establish one first and then develop others.
 
IlovemeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 10, 2012 at 7:49 am
I dont know who. :P
 
sakshi said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 11:59 am
 i like your style of writing. but you're introducing too many characters. establish one character first, and then develop the others
 
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