I Do?

May 7, 2011
It’s finally time! The day I loose all the partying and nights out with the girls and gain the longest friendship I will ever have with my best friend and soon to be husband.

I’ve spent months working on this wedding and now I’m sitting in my dressing room which is currently filled with bride’s maids, hair stylists, make-up artists, mothers, and in-laws. It’s crazy! And what’s even worse is I’ve had to go to the bathroom seven times already just in the last hour to throw up and I don’t think anyone has noticed. My head and stomach hurt like crazy and it seems like I can smell every speck of perfume, deodorant, and lotion that is in the entire state of New York.

But besides all that, I’m fine. My light brown hair is put into tight curls and my make up is beautiful with my favorite shade of velvet lip color, with my honey shade of blush to match my complexion. I love how my pearl earrings match my off-white strapless lace dress that flows perfectly down my body.

Today is truly magical. Or at least it would be if I could keep all my insides inside of me!

“Brinley!” I hear my mom call out to me from across the room. “Are you ready darling?” finally my mother asks me. She has been caught up in this whole scene since the limo arrived at my front door.

“Almost, I’m felling a little sick to my stomach though. Plus I’m smelling every scent known to man, and I’m…”

“Oh now you’re just nervous, every bride is. Well it’s either that or you’re pregnant, but we both know that’s not it.” She jokes in a sarcastic tone cutting me off from my panicked babbling.

“Yea of course not!” I reply back as she walks over to check on the bride’s maid’s make-up. “Well at least I don’t think I am?” I think to myself. I can feel my facial expression turn worried. I run over to my 16 year old niece who is now sitting on the small red couch, texting of course.
“Ella! I need you to go to the store and buy me three different pregnancy tests” my tone is rushed, but I can’t help it. I hand her a 10 and a 20 dollar bill and although I can see that she wants to question me, I push her out the side door.
I can see her turn back with a worried look, but what can I say? I know it’s crazy that I am trusting a sixteen year old girl with something this important, but she’ll have to do. I turn and slowly make my way to the guest room across the hall and look out the window. I can see all the white lawn chairs that my aunt decorated with flowers stationed around the backyard of my rich uncle’s home.
I make my way around the room when I come up to a tall mirror. I look at the girl inside the mirror that’s starring back at me.
“I can’t be pregnant. Not now.” I say to her in a confused tone. She looks beautiful in all her make-up and jewelry, and of course her dress, but I can tell she’s worried.
I go and sit on the edge of the bed and begin to think about things when Ella bursts through the door. “Thank you.” I say to her as calmly as I possibly can as she hands me the bag and the left over cash. Before she can say anything I walk into the bathroom.
After five minutes of waiting for the test results and stopping tears from running down my face and messing up my make-up, I step out the bathroom with the tests. I look at the results on each test and let’s just say I wish I had that many pluses on my report card back in high school. I almost faint, but instead I take one deep breath as I throw the test back into the bag and throw the bag into the trash outside the door. I go and sit back on the bed with a blank stare. I glance up at the clock, 15 minutes until the wedding starts. I keep having to remind myself to breath every two or three seconds.
My family would kill me if the knew, especially my mother. I know I should probably be thinking about who the father of this child is, but I already know. I begin to remember how I had met up with my ex- boyfriend a little while ago and some things happened. It was an accident and I told myself I would never speak of him again after that. I can feel my hand shaking and I can’t keep still. I’m about to scream when my dad walks through the door with a worried look.
“Hey Brinley is everything alright? Everyone is waiting for you.” He says to me sounding like everything is just peachy. I rap my arms around him and give him the most meaningful hug I probably ever will. I feel him jump as though I have just caught him off guard, but he hugs me back in a confused sort of way. “Ummm is everything alright?” he asks me again in a more confused tone this time.
“No” I tell him softly. I have always been my daddy’s little innocent girl, but now I have tell him that I’m pregnant, and not only before marriage but also to a man I don’t even plan on marrying. But I have to tell him because although I know he’ll be mad as hell, he also might understand. At least I hope he does. “Dad I hate to tell you this but I know I have to…” I start; I can see him beginning to look more worried. “I think I might be I’m pregnant” I finally tell him and when I even heard those words I felt like fainting.
I watch my dad as he quickly stands up, with his hand rubbing his face, and walks around the room. It’s quiet for long time, but he finally sits back down next to me and looks me in the eyes. I try not to look back at him but I can’t help myself. I see the disappointment glaring out of him and I feel my stomach begin to cramp as I hold back the tears.
“And may I ask who the father is?” he asks me looking down at his polished new, black shoes he bought just for my wedding.
“My Ex-boyfriend” I tell him. I couldn’t get myself to say my old boyfriend’s name and I know my dad already knows who I’m talking about.

“Well what are you going to do?” He asks me in a surprisingly calm tone. I sit there and think for a little bit. What was I going to do? I mean, should I go along and marry my fiancé now and explain to him the details later or should I call the whole thing off.

Next thing I know I see my mom burst through the door, “There you are! Come on come on, your wedding is starting!” she rushes my dad and I down the hall where my bride’s maids are lined and already going down the aisle one by one. With my dad standing next me, it’s my turn to walk down the aisle. My dad puts his arm up for me grab hold of and we begin to walk out the two large wooden doors.
I kind of squint my eyes a little as the sunlight comes beaming down through the thin clouds. I see everyone’s eyes staring and me with smiles on there faces and then I see the man at the end of the aisle, my fiancé. He’s smiling too, looking directly into my eyes. I now have little tear drops running down my cheeks, I can longer hold them back.
And all of a sudden I have forgotten everything. All the drama with me being pregnant and my make-up being all messed up and my family hating me. All I can think about is the man I love that is waiting for me at the end of the aisle.
Or at least that was all I could think about until the preacher said those words, “Brinley Marie Smith do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and to hold till death do you part?”
My mind is blank. It’s an easy question, yes or no, and I have now or never to answer it. So with my fiancé’s hands in mines, I close my eyes and take a breath as I feel each letter come out of my mouth. I hope I made the right decision and I wish my baby luck.





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