Nathan's Sucide

May 5, 2011
After coming back from a hard work day Nathan was going to be picked up by his girlfriend Natalie so they could go to a restaurant later that night. They had been dating for about two months now and was thought by all there friends as the perfect couple. As Nathan took off his gloves and got in the cab he was thinking about how cold it had been lately, little did he know in the process of taking off his gloves he had also dropped one of them. He put his gloves in his jacket pocket and closed the cab door.
Nathan realize later that night that he had lost one of his gloves, it wasn't really a big deal, nothing was really a big deal to Nathan. He would break a glass plate it wouldn't really matter hed just throw it away and get a new one. Nothing really ever mattered to Nathan not even his girlfriend of a year that had cheated on him, he just took in the news nodded his head and said “well i guess its over then right?” and left. And it wasn't like Nathan had a lot going for him that even if he broke a plate he could buy a million new ones or if his girlfriend broke up with him there were plenty of women waiting for him. Nathan was just normal, he had an average salary average life average everything but he was content, he didn't have big aspirations. He was just Nathan, thats it. But dont miss understand him hes not a hermit, he had friends, he had plenty. Nathan was a nice guy and people liked him when they got to know him, he seemed happy in everyones eyes but he wasn't he really wasn't, and the sad part was that he didn't even realize it till that day that he lost that glove.
I guess Nathan could be described as clinically depressed, he had been that way most of his life so no body really ever noticed he was sad, Nathans life was like one of those dreams you have when everything and everyone is moving past you at great speed and your just standing there doing nothing, but Nathan liked it that way. But back to present time, Nathan walked into that restraunt and sat down while his date went to the bathroom. Then he thought to himself what am i doing with my life? He looked at the other people in that restraunt all doing the same thing, eating, what was he really doing with his life. People just sit there and do the same thing every day wake up go to work come home eat go to bed and what for? nothing apsolutly nothing, there is no pupose to life. Nathan walked out of that restaurant without saying anything to anyone, even though it was purring out side he kept walking then he stopped on the side of the road. A big coca-cola truck was driving threw the bridge as it was approaching Nathan stepped right in front of it and died.

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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

krarthurs said...
May 30, 2011 at 9:45 pm
This has potential to be a good story. However, much like people below me have said, you do a lot of telling and there is minimum description. Try adding some dialogue, description, and thoughts and also be wary of your punctuation and spelling. Just some constructive criticism, keep writing though. (:
dolphinportkey7 said...
May 29, 2011 at 4:47 pm
It's brave of you to touch upon this subject matter, a lot of people would be afraid to because of the tragedy, sensitivity and starkness of the issue. Kudos.
starstruk87b said...
May 27, 2011 at 8:18 pm
hi ok so in this story you do a lot of telling, not showing. put some other action in here or something! for basically the entire thing you go on about how nathan's life sucks but no one knows it but him. then the only action besides the glove dropping is in the last few lines. Show us all these things, through dialogue or thoughts or reactions.
alwer299 said...
May 27, 2011 at 5:10 am
it could definitely use some cleaning up. its a bit jumbled, and the spelling an punctuation is all wrong. also the last line just doesn't work. you should say something more like "an then he saw the coca-cola truck coming down the road, walked out into the street and killed himself." its weird and annoying when people say someone died when talking about suicide. its not like the person just up and died they killed themselves.
Taliacat13 said...
May 26, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Ahahha. I know it's (sort of) wrong, but the ending made me laugh. The coca-cola truck was a nice touch.

I agree with cookieluvr that it could benefit a lot from cleaning up the  punctuation and spelling, nut anyway, great story! Keep writing.

Taliacat13 replied...
May 26, 2011 at 9:50 pm
Cookieluvr said...
May 26, 2011 at 4:00 pm
This story has a good plot, but it could be better in punctuation and spelling. If you could add better vocab. words and expand it, it could be a really good story!
Chasya said...
May 25, 2011 at 7:25 pm
awww poor Nathan :(
Healing_Angel This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 27, 2011 at 3:08 am
I agree with cookieluvr. It's a bit clique too.
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