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She fought to keep her voice from wavering as she introduced herself. She discreetly wiped her clammy palm on her jeans, and mentally cringed as he looked a bit surprised at the moistness of her hand as he gripped it with his own.

“I…uh…it’s really nice to…meet you.” She forced the words out of her mouth, hating how pathetic and unnatural they sounded.

She smiled painfully as he spoke, and all she heard was a jumbled warbling noise. Just be natural, she told herself. Say whatever jumps into your head.

“I hate talking. I really don’t want to be here. Your shirt is ugly.” The words popped out of her mouth in rapid-fire style before she could stop them.

His face contorted into a mask of cruel laughter. The sound filled her head, echoing and growing louder until it felt like she would burst. Her face flamed as she stuttered hopelessly. Everything slowed and suddenly, she was bent over, staring at his puke-covered shoes.


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WSwilliams said...
Jul. 17, 2012 at 4:32 pm
Brilliant! You must have a pretty good english or creative writing teacher. I did feel that this story kind of left me hanging and rushed. Either way, keep up the writing.
kate12345me said...
Jul. 16, 2012 at 4:34 am
HAHA! Awesome stuff ! Loved it, absolutely. I didn't at first, but I read through twice again and I think that that is the whole effect - having to read it more than once to let it impact. I wish I could write like this! Please, if you have time, check out some of my work :) Thanks, and great stuff!
ritabelle511 replied...
Jul. 24, 2012 at 9:12 pm
Thank you so much for the compliments!  They really mean a lot :) I will definitely check out some of your work! Thanks again!
ohmakemeover This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 27, 2011 at 11:57 pm
This was so short but really, really interesting!  I went back and read it several times, picking up little things along the way.  I like how ambiguous it is, because we don't really know who she was talking to.  It could've been her crush, or the president of the U.S, for that matter!  Great job!
ritabelle511 replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 11:22 am
Thank you very much :)
silvialuck said...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 10:28 pm
Awesome!  It's detailed and completely possible which just adds to the impact.
ritabelle511 replied...
Jul. 26, 2011 at 9:53 pm
Thanks so much!
Eno-Bladz said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 11:57 am
i did something almost exactly like this. wow it's kind of scary how close it is to what i did.
JustAnotherOwl replied...
Jul. 2, 2011 at 4:14 pm
 I keep going back to read this...I favorited it!
ritabelle511 replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Eno-Bladz - that's unfortunate!

JustAnotherOwl - Wow! Thanks so much - you're the first person to favorite my work :)

WritingSpasms said...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 8:51 pm
That was brilliant. I honestly didn't expect the ending! You did wonderful :)
JustAnotherOwl replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 7:16 pm
I agree; simple brilliance! (: That was incredible.
ritabelle511 replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Thank you so much! I really appreciate you both commenting and reading :)
youngpilot said...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 3:59 pm
anxiety has it's way with people i guess:) nice job:)
ritabelle511 replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Thank you!
JoPepper said...
Jun. 16, 2011 at 11:39 am
That was good,  was she talking to a crush or who?  Good job keep writing!!! :D
ritabelle511 replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 2:14 pm
She can be talking to whoever you'd like her to be talking to :) And thanks!
Zinaidia replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Very nice story, the ending had a bit of a twist. You really got talent. 
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