If Only

May 5, 2011
By CallMeMrs.Batman SILVER, Moreno Valley, California
CallMeMrs.Batman SILVER, Moreno Valley, California
5 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to our enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to our friends."
-Professor Dumbledore to Harry Potter
"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
-Unknown


There he is. Finally. The urge to run overwhelms my small legs as I dash to the door. Still, my mother beats me and has already stepped into his loving embrace. After a good four and a half minutes, my father pulls away and kisses my mother on the cheek before scooping me up in to his muscular arms.
“Hey, small fry.” He pulls my face into his lips and warms my cheek with a fatherly kiss. My arms grab his neck so tight that I nearly choke him. He laughs as he realizes it’d hard for me to let go. These precious moments are what keep my safe. They latch onto my mind and never let go unless forced to leave.
I could never imagine of letting go of one of these precious moments. Now, if only this was the true story.













***
The tear drips down my red cheek. My mind reels with questions with no answers and memories that aren’t real. He’s gone for good. My heart thrums an empty beat as my mother repeats every word over the phone.
“What… I…. some mistake…… sure it’s him…” she stutters. Even though, she never revealed exactly what happened, I always knew this day was going to arrive. Unfortunately, it had to happen on my birthday.
My mother and I awaited the time when we were going to hear the purr of the engine thrum through the driveway. Now, due to this unfortunate event, we never will. I start to sob, letting the reality of the whole situation finally hit me.
My mother hits “end” and walks over to well-stained couch. She strokes my hair, trying to be the brave, superhero “mommy” that I still call her to this day. She holds back tears trying to convince me she still throws on a cape and flies through the night sky when I drift asleep. Her eyes are wet with tears trying to burst through the emotional barrier that she has formed.
I’m still sobbing when the strongest tear finally cracks through the wall of strength. She pours out everything that she has been keeping in for the last few minutes. Both of our cheeks are red and our eyes are filled with pain when we hear someone knock on the door. My mother cracks it open, knowing that she won’t see who she wants to, proving that everything is just a big misunderstanding.
The mailman hands her the stacks of mail with a concerned look.
“Have a good day, ma’am.”
“Yes.. Thank you.” She says with a some-what smile.
She closes the door and stares at the mail.
“John McConnell” and the tears continued to drip away……..


The author's comments:
I wanted to prove a point. Nobody realizes anymore that the presents from God that we call days are limited and as soon as he calls lights out for you, you're not here anymore. I just wanted the world to see that you have to make sure your life is lived to the fullest.

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This article has 6 comments.


on Aug. 1 2011 at 11:48 pm
CallMeMrs.Batman SILVER, Moreno Valley, California
5 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to our enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to our friends."
-Professor Dumbledore to Harry Potter
"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
-Unknown

Odessa_Sterling00: Thanks for the feedback! Umm Sorry about not putting in all the detail. When I wrote this I was kind of rushing and didn't put as much effort as I wanted. Sorry. Here are answers to some of the questions you asked:

 

The dad is fighting in the war and the little girl always knew that the dad would die one day. Not particularly from the war but she knew it would happen someday. She didn't expect it to happen so soon.

 

Hope that helped! :)


on Jul. 28 2011 at 2:20 pm
Odessa_Sterling00 DIAMOND, No, Missouri
87 articles 108 photos 968 comments

Favorite Quote:
All gave some, some gave all. -War Veterans headstone.

I think you did an ok job, but it could have been better.  I, personally, would have liked more information on what happened to the father and why the kid knew it was going to happen, but some people like to leave space for speculation.  

on Jul. 27 2011 at 11:59 pm
CallMeMrs.Batman SILVER, Moreno Valley, California
5 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to our enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to our friends."
-Professor Dumbledore to Harry Potter
"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
-Unknown

Alon_Freevoice: Thanks for the feedback and help! I was wondering if you could look at my opinion contest in the nonfiction section of the forums! Thanks! :)

on Jul. 27 2011 at 4:33 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

When I read the first part, I thought it was that! Anyway, on the first part, are what keep my safe, my should be me.

On the second part, "what... I.... some mistake...... sure it's him..." she stutters.

I think she stutters is not needed anymore. And you can limit the use of periods into three in these cases :)
But this is just silly me... :)

Just keep writing to improve your writing skills and you'll see it'll get better... :)))


on Jul. 10 2011 at 1:37 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 735 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

good job reesa i think i read this at kate's house to keep writing and post more stuff

PJD17 SILVER said...
on May. 21 2011 at 10:39 pm
PJD17 SILVER, Belleville, Illinois
8 articles 0 photos 624 comments

Favorite Quote:
I do the best imatation of myself- Ben Folds

This is great  keep up the tremendous work i really enjoyed it  if you could  would you please check out and comment on my story Numb.  i would really appreciate the feedback




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