THE GREAT OUTDOORS!!!

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“MERDLE!!! Grab the tackle box, we’re going fishin woman.” Roared Merle “GOD BLESSIT Merle” nagged his old lady. Finally here she comes. Not kidding this lady is a whale. Probably tipping the scales at 340. She came out in a pair of bibs and a cut off t-shirt. WORSE SITE I HAVE EVER SEEN!! Merle loved her; she was the best cook on this side of the Mississippi. Merle was wearing his traditional worn out blue jeans, his work boots, flannel cut-off, with his beer gut sticking out. He always had a little something in his lip too. Merle was already in his truck waiting impatiently, “woman we’ve got to make it to the lake before six,” Merle complained. Merdle threw the fishing gear in the boat and then climbed into the pick-up nearly rolling it. “About time woman,” says Merle. For half the time driving to the lake that’s all Merdle did was b**** and complain about everything. Merle began to get red in his face as he was flying down the gravel road. “WHY IN TARNATION DO WE HAVE TO BE HER SO GOSH DARN EARLY MERLE?! Cried Merdle. “ BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE WOMAN!” yelled Merle. When Merle pulled off that dusty dirt road he noticed a very vital thing. He forgot his twelve pack back at the farm. “GOD BLESSIT, NOOOOOOO……………….NOOOOOOO……………….NOOOOOOO……why god why?!” screamed Merle as he fell to his knees crying. “What in the world are you doing?” asked Merdle. “WOMAN WE FORGOT MY DRINKS AT HOME.” Cried Merle again. “Oh boohoo you forgot your Mt. Dew” Merdle says mockingly. “How dare you say such a thing” Merle says as he was unloading the boat into the water. “Oh you know your diabetes aint getting any better when you drink that soda pop you big tub of lard!” Merdle says laughing out loud. “Woman” says Merle, “I swear on my left man boob that you will not be coming back from this fishing adventure if you keep it up.” Merle got onto the boat and braced himself as his big ol’ burley wife got into the boat. “God dang woman, you just flattened half the fish in the lake with that movement, well I guess I have found my new secret weapon when it comes to catching fish…….YOU” said Merle with a chuckle.

A few hours of fishing have gone by and the only fish caught were the ones killed by Merdle’s tidal wave getting into the boat. Merles patients were growing thinner by the minute. He had to catch something; he could not walk away from a day of fishing empty handed. Merle is a very competitive older fella, he does not like to lose at anything, and fishing that morning was killing him. He loved being in the outdoors and loved hunting, and fishing. But this particular morning was different, it was hot, Merle had a little headache probably because he hasn’t had his morning Mt. Dew, see to him Mt. Dew is his coffee. The only way he has coffee is if there’s more liquor in the cup than coffee. But, what really made this fishing adventure different was that not only was he not catching any fish but he was getting beat by his wife Merdle, she has already caught four fish. Merle hates losing but if there is one thing he hates more than losing it is losing to a female. I guess today just wasn’t Merles day.

A few more hours pass by and there still out on the river. Merles luck took a turn for the better just a little, he finally caught a fish and now they were biting on not only Merdles line but Merles now also. Around 2:30pm or so they look at their cooler, they have it filled to the brim with some small mouths, some large mouths, and a few walleyes.
Even though Merles day didn’t start out as well as he planned, it ended in an okay way. They have a cooler full of fish, and he was proud even though Merdle caught most the fish. At the end of the day, no matter how much complaining she does he always ends up loving her the same as always.

The End





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