Taken by T.S.A.

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Wednesday, 8:45 A.M.

My name is Michael Green. I’m a business man and I’m going to the airport today, which is a regular thing since I’m here every Wednesday. So far, this Wednesday has been horrible. Now, I’m standing on an airport bus. The only reason I’m standing is because I was kicked off the last bus and now, I’m just waiting to get off this bus. It’s a long story of how I was kicked off, but I have time.

I put my computer on my chair while I put my duffle bag in the luggage rack. Then, I hear from behind me,

“Hey mister, you put your bag on my seat.” So, I turned around to find a rather overweight lady sitting in my chair.

“Umm, that’s my seat, I had my computer there to say, ’this seat is taken”, I said. The lady tossed my computer at me as I looked for another open seat. Of course, they are all full.

“What’s going on back there?” said the bus driver who turned out to be the lady’s friend.

“Is everything alright, Debby?” said the bus driver. Apparently, the husky, seat jacking, lady’s name is Debby.

“No, Sue, this guy’s trying to take my seat,” said Debby.

“How do you two… you two are friends?!” I almost yelled at them.

“Yes, we are,” Sue and Debby turned and responded to my question at the same.

“So, are you trying to take her seat?” asked Sue.

“No! She took my seat while I was trying to put my luggage away, but then she made a big deal of all of this! If you could just leave my seat and…” I yelled in disbelief of this entire episode, but was then rudely interrupted.

“Does this have your name on it?” asked Sue.

“No! But that doesn’t mean its not…” once again, rudely interrupted.

“Off the bus,” declared Sue.

“What did I do?!” I yelled as I threw my arms in the air with a look of shock on my face.

“Off, now,” Sue, who I just realized was pretty husky herself, said in a commanding voice.

I had no choice but to leave. She said the next bus didn’t come into that particular lot until 8:30, 45 minutes later. So, I locked my car and marched over to the front office to talk to some one in charge. I knew a bus would go by the front office a lot as well, so, I thought I would kill two birds with one stone by hopefully getting Sue in trouble and catching a bus.

When I got to the 8’x8’ office, ( I knew it was 8’x8’ because it said on the side where someone at some time had painted ‘For Sale, 8’x8’ storage shed’), I was surprised the place was still standing.

“This place is a dump. It could use an Extreme Makeover, Office Edition,” I said and laughed to my self at the thought.

‘If any of those guys saw this place, they would cry at the amount of work that it needed,” I thought to my self. A piece of wood covered what once looked like a window had a fan duct taped on to it pointing inwards threw a hole in the board. A hacked out hole covered that looked like was either cut out with an ax, or by a terrible craftsman, housed a swamp cooler that that had some screws, but a lot of duct tape holding it up to the building.I opened the door to find a small, skinny person sitting at a desk with about 8 fans pointing at him (not counting the swamp cooler and the fan in the ‘window’). he had pale skin and jet black hair, which made his skin look even paler.

“Hello, are you in charge?” I asked.

“Yes, I am. What can I help you with?” he asked with a fake smile. I told him what happened to me and he started working again about half way through.

“Are you listening?” I asked him.

“Yes I’m listening. Please, keep talking,” he said without even looking up. When I finished telling him the story, I got the usual,

“Oh, that’s to bad. I’ll talk to Sue and try to get her to change,” he said with again, a fake smile. Which really meant, ‘Thanks for wasting my time, I’m not going to do anything about it.’

By that time, I could hear another bus coming. So, I stepped outside, flagged down the bus, and got on. I was very happy to see many empty seats and not Sue or Debby. Well, I’m about to get off of the bus, so, I’m going to close up the shop.



Wednesday, 9:15 A.M.

Well, I checked in my bag without a hassle and now, I’m just waiting in line at the T.S.A. check point. There’s a lot of people here today. Including a family behind me who has no control over their two children. The youngest is a little girl who is annoying from my point of view. She’s rolling on the ground, run around between her parents and my self, running into each one as she does. She also throws a temper tantrum every time her parents ask her to stop. So, they eventually stopped asking her. Her brother was just the opposite of happy. He pushed or hit his sister every time his parents weren’t looking. He also looked like a kid who had been kicked out of many schools for drug and violence problems. The parents were just starring off into space. Probably thinking of a vacation without the kids. So nice, relaxing, and quiet. But who was going to watch their kids. I’m sure they’ve thought of that before, but I didn’t want to say anything in fear of bursting their fantasy.

This T.S.A. check point for Southwest Airlines, I know it like the back of my hand. If the had a pro level airplane flying, I’d be an experienced pro. I know exactly when to start taking off my shoes, belt and taking my wallet, phone, etc. out of my pockets so that when I get to the X-Ray machine, I’m ready to go.

I have had one thing work out pretty well today. When I was on my second bus, I got a free pen. Not just any pen, a polished metal, fountain pen. This pen just holds ink, like a regular pen, but can be refilled when it runs out by using just the ink you would use to dip your pen into. This is easier because then you don’t have to carry bottles of ink every where. The pen is just polished metal with a matching cap. the clip however is black so that when you have it in a front pocket of a suit, it blends in. Which is really cool because you can just have a pen in disguise. But when it’s out, it shines very brightly. As of right now, I have it safely put away so I don’t lose it. I’m now approaching the point where I start taking my belt off and phone out of my pocket.



Wednesday, 9:45 A.M.

I’m locked in a glass box right behind the metal detector you walk through. They haven’t searched me yet, but that’s because they are going through my bag. They are letting me right in my journal because they’ve inspected my pen and notebook and have decided it was safe.They are going to search me now. Joy.
Wedensday, 9:50 A.M.

They found a fountain pen and a pocket knife on me. So, know, I’m still in the glass box because they are waiting for police to escort me to the holding are. I guess I’ve been taken by T.S.A. I bet it was the punk behind me who put the pocket knife in my pocket. I don’t even own a pocket knife like that one. Instead of him being arrested for his at least 2nd time, I get to be arrested during one of my worst days ever while he walks off probably to go commit another crime in the near future. I’m about to be escorted.


Wednesday, 11:30

I’ve been question by this ugly, lying, intelligent lady for the past 3 hours straight. She always twisted my words to make it sound like I was trying to harm people on my plane. And, I kept telling her that the punk behind me set me up. But she doesn’t listen. Her name is Monica Forza and seems to be about 26. She also seems like the person who was a bully and hates all animal, no matter what. She just seems like a hating person. She seems to be found of torture because ever other sentence was about how big cops would drag me out I’d I would be arrested for X amount of time if I didn’t tell the truth. She also has multiple personalities because she will be acting happy then just exploding in a matter of seconds. She is just weird.

Note to my self about airports: always be on alert and start letting things go.


The P.A. system was hocked up in this room and I could here which flights were taking off.

“Flight 3412 to Dallas, Texas, this is your last boarding call.”
When this cam over the P.A. system, I threw my hands in the air and said,

“Great. I missed my flight.”

This whole day was miserable. I missed my flight and now I’m locked in an airport security room. I decided to make a timeline of my day, just to pass the time.







Well, until I get out of here, I’m done writing.


Thursday, 8:30 A.M.

I just got out of JAIL! The airport thought I was a minor threat and looked into the puck, and he admitted to putting the knife in my pocket. So, they kept me over night until they realized I was innocent and this kid was guilty. So, now I’m getting a taxi back to my parking lot even though I’m at the airport. I learned three very valuable lessons:
Park at the airport
Always watch your back
Don’t fly Southwest, that’s were the most stuff happens and it is full of ‘bad guys’.





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