It bothers me to visualize the potential women for this young masculine fellow. I strongly agree that I have personality. My standards are fair. What can I do to grab his attention, and keep his eyes of those vivacious teenagers I seem to envy? I openly throw out my emotions, unexpectedly, hoping someone would listen, but what do you expect when no one pays attention? Am I just a joke, the inside joke that everyone gets a laugh out of, and suffer the consequences of never knowing what it is? I experience this gut feeling inside, and I have a feeling they're laughing at me. But why? Why are they choosing to pick on me? Maybe the answer has to do with marking the red "X" on my torso. I used the color of my beating heart and painted it all over me, in a daze, wondering how long it would be until I was free from the natural world I lived in. It's possible that dug a deep hole, and history continues to repeat itself, along with memories. Is it possible that not only he, but the adolescent population could grow fond of me, instead of running away and repeating used slander from long ago. I just want him to love me. I want to feel appreciation. Too bad no one believes in a fair share.