WHAT THE!

April 22, 2011
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Seemed like the typical Sunday evening for me a.k.a. John. Who knew luck could change so fast and drastic. Everything was fine thirty minutes ago. Joshua, Adam, Bert and I were hanging out at my house. All of us were chilling, cracking up jokes, bragging about who had the hottest girlfriend and surfing the web. Suddenly, Joshua’s eyes grew bigger as he found himself glued to the screen. Of course all of us turned to see what caught his attention and caused the sudden silence. The first thing wasn’t unusual at all; Bert was on the newsfeed on Facebook. As our sight began to focus and browse through friends updates the silent and shock hit us like a sucker punch. WHAT THE…
As always Joshua was the first to open his mouth. “What the heck is that?” he began. 3:26 P.M., October 3, 2010. A status update posted by Samuel Smarty Pants a.k.a. Samuel Johnson. It was truly unpredictable Samuel would post it I thought. “Hello, somebody who made that and what is it doing on Samuel Smarty Pants status?” Joshua demanded. “Isn’t Samuel supposed to be at Sunday School or studying at the library for something?” Bert and I looked at each other then back at the screen. “How could he think it was ok to post that on this public website feed and not get caught by us or our chicks?” Bert cried out ignoring Joshua. I couldn’t tell them that I made that ridiculous picture of everybody’s girlfriends in order from not hot to greatly hot, and don’t know how on Earth it got on Facebook or how Samuel S.P.(for short) got a hold of it and published it. Suddenly, I snapped that the last place I left the picture was on Computer #3 in the school library. Samuel must be on it so I have to contact him quick. “I don’t know but somebody has to get him to get that off before any of our girlfriends see it cause they’ll kill us thinking we made that”, Adam answered scared and shaky. “Omg!” I thought to myself. Jenna my girlfriend. What have I done? I hope she hasn’t seen it!
“Samuel! You dumb idiot how could you put THE picture on Facebook. Everyone seen it and I’m speechless knowing that that’s my picture well yours that you made to be the idiot you are. I’m not laughing right now. So, log off my computer domain because I know your using it ‘cause I saved in under mines not yours so get off or I’ll tell the librarian!);” read the text. It was actually Samuels idea to get more nerd awareness or whatever they (the nerd clan) call it; anyways I told him I’ll assist him with the editing because we kind of wanted to make them appear hotter than they already do. It was a teen thing. I understand if you can’t comprehend.
“Who are you texting, is it Samuel?” everyone asked concerned. “Oh, nobody just checking something,” in my nervous voice. Leaving the phones ringer on wasn’t the smartest thing to do ‘cause my phone rang out loud. “You are texting,” says Joshua. “I said I was just checking something!” I yell pist off. I was really mad and embarrassed. The last thing I wanted to do was answer questions. Everyone stayed quiet looking at me suspiciously. Samuel responded in an act of pettiness not knowing I had company over and would put an attempt to take it off as soon as possible. Which didn’t cut it. “You better get that picture off and get off my computer logon right after and quick before I give you your third black eye!” read the second text. Which wasn’t a choice, because I was going to whether he removed it or not.
Bert began asking, “Umm, do you have anything to do with this picture with our girlfriends looking like...” “I’m so sorry I didn’t know what was going through my mind, Samuel S.P. and I were being stupid I already have it already under control he says he’ll get it off right away and never meant to post it to upset anyone,” I interrupted with guilt. Everyone looked at me like I shouldn’t be walking “Mother Earth” right now, because all I do is mess things up. Sure enough, “John must die,” is what I hear Joshua giggle. Then, everyone started to giggle. I just watched like I was on PRANK or something. “What’s going on?” I asked shocked again. “Nothing you just should’ve seen your face!” they all blurted out laughing. “It’s alright as long as you tell him to remove it now were not really gonna beat ya’ll up unless your asking for it,” says Bert. “Just chill dude,” continues Joshua. “Umm, no it’s not ok and I’m not going to chill there’s already 12 comments have you not seen,” I said calming down as I focused ‘cause I saw 2 likes which must of been from other guys. “Omg there is!” shouted Bert. “Well click them to read who there from and what they say!” yelled Joshua. I’m lucky they haven’t asked why I made such a stupid thing. Maybe because they like the order their girlfriends are in. Not Adam he’s still quiet probably knowing he’ll be in trouble. This isn’t the first time he’s gonna get it from his girlfriend. My thoughts were right this time; they were just from other junior jocks at school making jokes about the picture. Until, I get a text from Samuel S.P. saying that his Facebook account has been disabled (Im guessing because that was enough for Facebook to think he was a molester or something). But, omg blood shot up to my brain and I knew I was going down with Adam. And so was Samuel because it was his idea.
I had to text him back that he can at least email Facebook Support. I can’t get in trouble with my girlfriend again. Especially, with a picture of other girls she knows. Because, I don’t know if anybody has noticed and not that I want them to. But, at the bottom right corner of the picture in font size of 8 barely noticeable are my initials I put on all my artwork (and don’t ask me why I was stupid enough to put them on this picture). But, by just zooming in word will get around from my art peers (if you know what I mean). And not just that but there are probably enough people already who right-click saved it that can easily re-post this picture or use it for any of their personal matters (which I’m not getting in to detail with). And when I thought about it, it made my stomach feel ill. I knew the relationship or relationships of my friends and I are over because of my stupid decisions. Samuel never text back. It had been 20 minutes. So, I needed to call him to see what’s up. He said that he finally got it off and that was all that mattered until of course if anybody saved the picture. So, I know this is kind of weird but I wanted to and did pay a lot of money (yea right $35 and an 18 pack of Bud-Light) to get this networking technician computer engineer or N.T.C.E. for short (which was my dumb uncle). Supposedly, my uncle knew how sit around and drink beer all day and how to remove the dumb picture any person saved off their hard drive. Because, I wasn’t about to let it happen again. You’re asking, what do you mean by that? Well yes, this wasn’t the only time I hurt somebody including my girlfriend with such a stupid screw up by Samuel S.P. and myself that caused a crater in our relationship. So with no sad ending. Long end short. Samuel has got his third black eye within three years of high school and learned his lesson to not logon to my domain. Of course somebody had to talk to the guys girlfriends. So, Samuel met with them the Monday after they all found out and obtained a couple of more black marks on him. But, yeah that’s about it. The guys and their girlfriends and I and my girlfriend all got over it weeks later. Like literally though the girls were making fun of who we thought were less fortunate in looks. LMBO, funny story but yupp things can fly by if you care as much.
P.S.-I know it’s said that money doesn’t buy happiness, but in this case you can say it does…BTW, you can always call Samuel S.P. if you don’t like your girlfriend(if you know what I mean)… ;)





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