I'll Never Forget the Day She Died (Charlotte's journal entry one)

I remember the funeral like it was yesterday. I was in the car with my mom, my two sisters, my brother and my aunt and uncle. I sat in between my sister Haley and my brother Chris. Haley looked at me with the saddest, most sympathetic eyes.

"Charlotte, kiddo...we all loved Syble..." Haley's voice had trailed off when my aunt started to cry. Syble was my best friend and favorite cousin, and I was only seven years old, so I didn't understand. Nobody really said anything but in an effort to break the silence my aunt commented on how beautiful the flowers were this time of summer. Syble loved flowers. We finally reached the church where everyone was gathered. I remember how I pushed Haley away, I didn't want to be with anyone. I walked into the room and I remember feeling like all eyes were on me, they all knew that Syble and I had been best friends and cousins. I didn't want to talk to anybody, so I remember going to the one place nobody was standing, the casket. I was so little, so i was scared to see her like that, I had never seen a dead person before. I closed my eyes real tight and then, when I pictured her dead, decaying body I opened them, ready for the graphic image. I was wrong. I remember she had on her beautiful curly blonde wig (she had lost all her hair due to cancer) and the most elagent of her sundresses. She looked like she was alseep. I also remember thinking her face didn't look quite right, it was heavy with makeup and she smelled like embalming fluid. I touched her hand, and starred at her closed eyes. I wanted to shake her and have her wake up. I wanted her cancer to go away, her hair to grow back and for her to beable to run and jump and play again...and everyone kept saying that was going to happen and they kept saying it was going to happen...and then she died. A man came over next to me to tell me they were about ready for the burial and to say my last goodbye before they closed that casket. I knew I had to do something, anything so i jumped in and laid next to her, shaking her and screaming "Wake up Syble! Wake up!" I have never cried so hard in my entire life, I had completely lost it. I wasn't thinking straight and I was young and naive. They pulled me away and i wasn't allowed into the cemetary for the burial. And I cried in Haley's arms until I feel asleep. This first horrific event was what started EVERYTHING.
.....and she was only thirteen....





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