Another Girl

April 18, 2011
I sit back and stare out the window. My ipod plays the same two songs over and over. I hate how i can't seem to settle my feelings. As The Way She Feels plays i think of how i seem to be just another girl. Nothing more to anyone. How thats probably all ill ever be; especially to him. As the day goes on, i feel as if i drift even further from being anything more than friends. And how everyday just seems to get harder, Then as the song fades and You Give Me Hope plays, i want to believe. I think how seeing him, even if it just walking by him heading to class, how it gives me hope. I sigh as all these thoughts run through my head. I close my eyes and inhale deeply. I inhale gasoline with it all and cough choke. I jump as my phone vibrates and inturrupts my train of thought. Its my best friend, Sasha. Talking to her always makes me feel better. :) "I feel like crying" I texted. "NO! Don't cry. Crying is for the weak and youre not weak!" She texted back. "I know im not but its hard. Like what am i supposed to think?" I asked "You just have to wait. See if there even is anything there." Sasha said. I lay my head back against the seat and close my eyes. The sun shines though the window and beaqts down on me. It feels like its 105 degrees outside. A gust of wind blows through and my hair flies in my face. I swallow and it feels as if my heart is stuck in my throat. I push my hair out of my face and push up my glasses. I close my eyes tighter and move around in my seat. I hate my life so much. I decided im going to text him just to see whats up. So i compose a new message and hit the M. M-i-k down arrow key enter. To, Mike Thompson. "Hey, whats up?" I hesitate on sending it. My screen goes black. I hit the spacebar and the light comes back on and i send the message. I sigh deeply. Why did i do that? Gosh im such an idiot! I quickly texted Sasha. "Im an idiot!" I said. "Why do you say that?" Her reply was very promt. I told her it and she said that it wasnt really stupid at all. "Im also stupid for liking him." I said. "I know he doesnt like me!" "NO you dont!" Sasha said "Something could be there and he is just being like you and hiding it all." Sasha told me. "Okay if you really think so. But im getting tired of all this cr*p." I said. "I really dont think we will ever be anything." Guys like Mike are awesome. Theyre smart, athletic, friendly, and so cute. Wait...what am i saying? Mike is one of a kind. So he's awesome, smart, friendly, athletic, and so cute. I get home and i go lay down on my bed. I lay back and just stare at my black celing. My phone vibrates and i pick it up. It's Mike...I open it up. "Nothing much. Hbu?" I smile a little bit. "Same here. Just doing some thinking." "Oh" I tried to find some things to talk about but it was all just little small talk. Finally i asked him if he would read a poem i wrote and he said okay. He wasnt quite sure what to think of it. I sighed. Why is it Mike? Why does it have to be Mike that i like? Dont get me wrong, Mike is awesome, totally awesome, but hes kinda like a QB. Wont date friends. Or he doesnt like his girl friends as more than friend. And if he finally doea. He doeant make it known to them. Thats why ill never be but more than another girl to Mike. Actually im more than another girl cause we're friends so i wont ever be more than another friend. Which is why it kills me. Which is why i want to give up hope...


1 Week Later...
D***it! I shudda known! I found out today, i am just another girl. Mike never even liked me as a friend. I dont care though. It was the kinda thing where it hurt for about 90 seconds, but ive grown so immune to pain that i dont care. I told Sasha he didnt like me as a friend and she asked why. "I dont really know." I said. "But i also dont care. Itll come back at him in the future." "Mhm, what goes around comes around." Sasha said. Guys always realize that that one girl, they never wanted to be friends with, they either really do want to be friends with or they end up liking them. But even if (or when) that happens; im not going back. Mike can just sit back and enjoy the life he wantED. Besides, when the time comes around, Mike is gonna get what he bargained for. A life, where to every girl, hes just another plain ole' guy.





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