Silence is the one sound I can't bear to hear. It makes me want to take this sheet of paper and burn it in the fires of desires, let it fuel the flame until the heat melts my heart. Then I will no longer love, no longer care, no longer feel those feelings for you that I had long ago. The same feeling that made my head spin until I couldn't see straight, the ones that kept me going in circles round and round like a child's play thing. I can't decide, I can't make up my mind, your words are clouding my judgment, your thoughts like a never ending rain in my mind. You used to make it summer, make me feel like I was alive for the first time, then your true colors showed. Now I sit trying to hide, hide from the pain you have caused in me. I'm surprised I haven't ended it yet, that haven't taken a handful of pills and shoved them down my throat, but I can't do that to my family, I can't put them through the pain you have caused me. So for now this is all I can do, to let you know how I feel and I hope that you will care enough to change, if not you aren't the same person I fell for in the beginning.
April 12, 2011